A journal I guess

Update.

Hey, it's been a while. I've been a bit busy. Also, sorry about the last chapter, I didn't mean it. Grief really got to my head at some point, and I wanted someone to blame. I really am sorry. Nobody is to blame in this.

On the topic of other events, His orders have been piling in. It doesn't work the way people think, He doesn't really...speak. It's more a matter of knowing His will, exactly as He wants it. The Ichor does have some part to play in it. It establishes that connection, and that control. It's similar to intuition, the way it works. It's how it drives you mad. You start to think, is this my own voice or something else? Am I sick? Am I going insane? Why is it telling me to do these things? Why do I have the urge to do so and so? But this strange fear only manifests in victims and hallowed. Servants like me know what to expect, and can distinguish between inner monologue and His call.

I don't expect you to understand a single word of this. Those who haven't experienced it will hardly know what I mean. But, for a reference point, it's also the compulsion that you feel. The compulsion is, ultimately, when it's controlling you. That's why when you snap out of it, it seems so silly to you. You think, how could I have ever been so obsessed? The Ichor is how.

All the coughing and vomiting isn't a symptom of the sickness itself, by the way. It's your body trying to flush the Ichor out of your system. Similar to a cold. The virus isn't causing the fever and the stuffed nose, your body's immune system is. Just something to think about, I guess. The antidote created for Ichor does just that, it flushes it out of your system. But one, it must be in the earlier stages of infection, and two, it's a 50/50 chance of survival. Many die a few days after, because the Ichor completely destroyed and replaced their immune system. Timing is very important, but at the point that you do realize you have the sickness, it's most likely already too late. Symptoms aren't decreasing because He's gone. They're decreasing because your body's immune system is slowly getting replaced by Ichor.

I could write entire articles on how it works, why you can't escape it, and tell you every excruciating detail of how it destroys your body like a parasite. I could pull out every scientific detail. But I won't, because it isn't the time for that.

Once again, I'm sorry for blaming people who aren't at fault. And I sincerely hope you can one day be free.

Truly yours,

Rosie.