𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗪𝗞𝗦 || k. takami

Chapter 18

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𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬 𝑯𝑨𝑾𝑲𝑺
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There were a few reasons why a person would want to forget something. Sometimes they don't want to remember something traumatic, they don't want to relive it in their memories. Sometimes they lost someone so important to them they chose to forget them rather than remember them.

But in your case, Hawks knew it was neither. You didn't lose any of them, and it wasn't particularly traumatic, if anything when you had the twins, it was the happiest moment in your life. Why would you want to alter what was the happiest moment?

There is only one reason that Hawks could think about.

"You did that..." Hawks started, as if he wanted to tread slowly with each word, but the words were so simple yet held so much more. "...to protect us."

"To protect you?"

"There were people who wanted to get back at you and they would do anything to hurt you," he said, and with every word you listened, letting it sink in your mind as you remembered who those people were. "You must have known they would use me and the kids."

"So I altered my memories of you and the kids," you started, putting the pieces together as you averted your gaze from him and brushed your hair back as you let out a breath. "Because if I don't remember you and the kids, they wouldn't be able to use you against me."

"Memories can be our greatest strength," Hawks said. "And our greatest weakness."

You had to let what he said register in your mind and before you knew it, you fell on the bed, sitting down as you lowered your head, hands propped on your forehead. And Hawks let the silence linger around, because sometimes silence is better than anything. So he let it hang around, letting you take your time to absorb his words.

You vaguely remember those people, the enemies you made during your time in the underground. They interrogated you and asked you about your husband and children, but you didn't remember having either. Now you realize, that time, it was that night five years ago.

After a while Hawks put the photo album down beside you on the edge of the bed before he straightened up.

"I'll go now," he said in a silent voice. But before he could take a step, he felt a hold on the hem of his shirt, making him stop as he turned around to see you lifting your head up to look at him.

"You said there were pictures and videos of the kids in your computer," you started, averting your gaze to the side as you slowly lowered your hand. "Can I see them?"

"In my room?" Hawks asked as you looked back at him. "Of course you can see them. In my room?" he asked again and you furrowed your eyebrows.

"Just tell me if I'm not allowed in your room."

"What? No! I was just– no, well yes, you are allowed. I mean, you're supposed to be sleeping in my room since we're technically...married." Hawks trailed off when he saw your smile, averting your head to the side as your shoulders slightly shake and Hawks could have sworn he heard you laughing lightly, but when you turned back to him, your face was back to its usual expression but a hint of smile still lingered in your lips.