wanted - Eddie Munson

the letter

August 19th, 1985

Eddie's POV

I kissed her. 

Or maybe she kissed me?

We kissed. 

It'd been the first time in months. Somehow it felt like no time had passed as if we'd never been broken up. As if kissing her was the easiest task for me. 

But it wasn't because seconds after we broke apart she got back in her car and left. She never even looked up at me and I stood there in shock for minutes before finally looking back to Gareth's porch. He and Jackie were standing there, both wearing the same shocked expression. I did my best to push past it, ignore the way my entire body felt cold after she left. 

Walking back up to the porch I could feel both of them staring at me. Practically drilling a hole into the side of my head. 

"You kissed her?" Jackie mumbled sounding like nothing that just happened was real. 

"He did," Gareth answered before I got the chance to. 

"Does this mean you finally realized how much of a dipshit you are and you're gonna try to get her back?" I hated her tone. She was so hopeful and excited and I didn't want to break that. Even when she was a kid, she had the most beautiful smile when she was excited. It was dorky and lopsided and her teeth were uneven but none of that mattered. Her excited and hopeful smile could light a room. 

I sighed once, scared to look away as I walked back into the house. "No, Jack. I can't." 

The air immediately changed and I could almost hear Gareth wince. He knew what was about to happen and so did I. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the wrath of Jaclyn Esper. 

"What the fuck do you mean, no? Why the hell not? You clearly love her and she loves you for some weird reason that I can't seem to figure out because you are an insufferable and annoying asshole!" She screeched as she stomped towards me, pointing an accusatory finger at me. 

"Hey!" I tried to defend myself but that just made it worse. She glared and me before poking me hard, right in the chest. 

"Shut up! Are you seriously going to let her go? Just like that? The girl of your dreams who puts up with you, and you are just letting her drive right out of your life?" She was throwing her hands around as she yelled at me. I could see Gareth with his arms crossed, standing behind her. Partly because he didn't want to get involved and have her anger pointed toward him, which I can't blame him for, but also because he agreed with her. 

She huffed a frustrated breath, putting her hands on her hips before continuing her speech. "Ed, I have known you my entire life which means that I know how you are. You stand by those you love, protecting them to the bitter end, but not once do you think you deserve to have someone stand by you." 

I swallowed hard and set my jaw. I think that I don't deserve her because I don't deserve her. 

"There's not much that I would change about you. Even if you are a painfully annoying asshole." She smirked, shoving my shoulder lightly in an attempt to diffuse some of the tension. "But I would fix whatever made you think that you don't deserve good things, and I'm pretty sure I know what it is." 

She stopped, turning to  Gareth for a moment. 

"Can you give us a minute? I don't think Munson wants you to see him cry." She asked in a playful tone before seeing him give a nod and walk back outside. 

"Jack, look, I know what you're gonna say-" 

"I will not tell you to shut up again, Edward." She snapped and I clamped my mouth shut. "You're a Munson and that damned family name has you thinking that you are nothing more than a replica of your dad. A deadbeat, junkie, alcoholic, criminal. I understand why you think that, you know that I do. Hell, the Esper family name is just as bad as the Munson's. But just because we carry that name doesn't mean that we're going to end up like them. Our dad's sucked, but they did give us one thing."