One Night in Paris [Han Jisung ff]

16 - 사랑해

The next morning, I woke up with Jisung next to me. He was shirtless, his lips slightly parted were asking me to devour them. Memories of the previous night came back immediately, and I was left with a huge grin on my face.

My hand trailed up his abdomen, enjoying his silky skin and warmth until it reached his cheek. I gently stroked it, my thumb brushing his perfect lips. I couldn't help but smile. I knew I had promised myself to ignore my feelings as best as possible, but for me it was impossible. He looked so ethereal, so perfect that I couldn't help but fall harder each time I saw him.

He stretched his arms before squinting his eyes open, immediately smiling when he recognised my figure. Without saying a word, he dragged me closer to him, engulfing me in a hug while he kept on sleeping. I was shocked at the beginning, but eventually relaxed under his touch, his perfume filling up my nostrils.

- I hate to break it to you, but we need to get up. - I chuckled whispering against the crook of his neck.

- Fuck the soundcheck, I want to stay here with you. - He mumbled with his head sunk in the pillow. His hand trailed down to my thighs, stroking them gently.

- You keep on doing this, and I assure you we won't get out of this bed anytime soon. - I giggled, playfully pushing him away as I sat on the bed.

He stared back at me, using his arm to cover his eyes from the sunlight.

- You are way too beautiful. - He stated smiling, eventually standing up and getting dressed. I stared at him the whole time, admiring his beauty in the morning light and how it sculpted his body perfectly.

Suddenly, it hit me. Few tears left my eyes and before I knew it I was sobbing, hiding my face in my hands.

- Oh my God, what happened? - Jisung rushed towards me, hugging me tightly and whispering soothing words.

- When are you going to leave Paris? - I bit my lip to avoid bawling.

- On Monday morning. - I could feel pain in his voice. I bursted out crying once again, falling into his embrace. I sobbed on his lap for a while, his left hand fixing my hair and stroking my shoulders gently.

When I heard a sniffle, my head immediately shot up. He had a single tear falling down his red cheek.

- I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. - He apologised, wiping away his tear and immediately looking up to avoid more tears falling.

- It's okay. - I cupped his cheek, looking at him directly in his eyes. For how egoistic it might sound, seeing him cry soothed my heart: it implied I meant something.

- I wish I could take you with me... - His voice broke as his arms wrapped around me. We both sobbed quietly for a while, before our breaths finally steadied.

- But we are going to see each other again, right? - I asked him, pleading him with my eyes not to leave me.

- Of course, I would die if I didn't. - He chuckled, drying his eyes with his shirt. - We will figure something out, I promise. - He smiled faintly, pecking my forehead before eventually standing up.

I took a quick shower, then we both got dressed. I wanted to accompany him all the way to the stadium, but he had insisted on me staying home because he wanted me to relax and eat before going to work this afternoon. In the end, we had reached a compromise: I would have accompanied him only to the metro station.

- I think I will take a gap year during which I'll work and focus on my Korean, so that I will be ready when the registration period for the university opens. - I said.

- I think it's a good idea. - He smiled at me from under the mask. He looked pensive: he wasn't speaking much and his gaze was fixed on the pavement as we walked.

- I still need to talk to my parents, but I think they will be supportive overall. - He nodded with a smile. We had finally reached the metro station. He engulfed me in a tight hug, planting his head on the crook of my neck.

- And if they aren't, I will be your biggest supporter. - I hugged him even tighter, whispering a heartfelt "Thank you" while holding back tears.

We parted after a few seconds, staring at each other in the eyes, both pairs being glossy.

- Don't miss me too much, okay? - He whispered with a smile.

- Cheesy. - I giggled, removing his mask for a second to peck him on the lips. - Now go, you are already late. - I patted him on the shoulder before looking at his figure speeding off in the crowd.

And I felt empty again. No more hugs, no more sweet kisses nor cheesy words. No more Jisung. My lips trembled the whole way home, I wanted to bawl my eyes out. When I entered home, i sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor in silence and letting few minutes pass. Was he really gone? I still needed to process this fact. To me he was next to me, either resting his chin on his palm or fidgeting with his rings. I could have still seen him tomorrow, and the week after that, and the one after... Just as my heart had started healing, I had to witness it shatter in a million pieces. No more Jisung.

I stood up and glanced at the clock. 12:30 pm. Thirty minutes before I need to leave for work and my life goes back to the meaningless mess it was before meeting him. How amazing.

I decided to heat up the rest of the instant noodles in the microwave. So there I was, eating those ramen noodles by myself, using chopsticks which I didn't even know how to use properly, and cursing the day I was born.

I went to my room to change for work, only to notice a black envelope resting on one of the bedside tables. I couldn't help but smile.

I rushed to take it into my hands, immediately remembering our first kiss at the restaurant. He had thought he had offended me... how cute.

I carefully opened the envelope, their concert ticket appearing in my sight. I took it out eagerly, a piece of paper fluttering to the floor. I tilted my head, extremely curious, as I picked it up.

"It will be a bittersweet concert, but I wouldn't choose any other way to say goodbye.
Thank you for the moments we have spent together, I loved every second of it.
사랑해,
Sungie ♡"

"사랑해". "Saranghae". "I love you".

So he loved me. I squeaked, jumping happily on the bed as if I were a kid, holding onto that piece of paper for dear life. He loved me.