One Night in Paris [Han Jisung ff]

29 - First times⛔️

It was already February.

- Angèle! - Jisung jumped from the couch, coming to the door to greet me.

It had by now become a habit: whenever the guys were free, I would join them for dinner, sometimes staying there to sleep.

- How were the lessons? - He asked, pecking me on my forehead.

- Good... - My voice was low, I had always been bad at hiding when I was feeling sad.

- What happened, baby? - Jisung pouted, only making me feel worse. A single tear escaped my eye, and I was quick to wipe it off.

- A girl I was talking to today said people who hurt themselves are crazy and do it only for attention. - I bursted out crying. - S-She said d-depressed p-people should all d-die. -

Jisung hugged me tightly, my head buried in his chest while I cried my eyes out, wetting his favorite t-shirt.

- You know none of that is true, baby... don't mind her. - He whispered, gently rubbing my back.

- B-But t-then she s-saw my s-scars a-and t-told me I was w-worthless and unworthy of b-being t-there. - I hiccuped and stuttered, barely able to speak.

I couldn't stop crying, every time I tried to divert my attention on something else my mind would automatically go back to that girl's words.

- Let's try not to think about anything and let's just eat, okay? - Jisung hugged me tightly one last time.

I nodded, following him to the kitchen, where Chan, Minho and Changbin were setting up the table.

- Hey, Angèle! - Chan greeted me happily, but his expression soon changed once he saw me. - Oh shit... what happened? - He walked towards me, gently holding my shoulders and looking at me, then at Jisung.

I shook my head to assure him I was okay even though I was clearly not, forcing a smile before sitting down at the table. Soon after, Jeongin, Seungmin, Felix and Hyunjin joined us, all of them glancing at me worriedly before sitting.

We ate in silence, none of us actually wanting to talk of my state. I probably had red, puffy eyes, not to talk of sudden sniffles I would release every once in a while.

After all of us were done, Chan led me to the living room, which was faintly illuminated by only one single light coming from its corner.

We both sat on the couch, chatting lowly while I explained everything to him.

- I really wish for those people to understand how depressed people feel, but some really seem not to care. - He sighed, fidgeting with the material of the couch.

A few moments passed by, during which he pondered on whether to tell me something or not.

- I don't know if I should tell you this... Fuck it, it's okay. - He paused for a little. - I almost lost a friend once. He was the happiest, he was always the first to ask to hang out, he would always text us... but then he stopped. It was gradual, but it got to the point he never left his house. His parents abused him, and he fell into depression. It was very bad. -

His voice masked a hint of pain, cracking ever so lightly every once in a while.

- One day he decided to overdose on some pills, we were 12 at the time. I remember that day because my parents called me off of school to tell me. At first I thought he would have woken up that same day, but he stayed in a coma for a few weeks. -

He took a deep breath, halting his emotional storytelling for a few, heavy seconds.

- It was the worst period of my life. That's why I am so vocal about mental health. Fuck, I don't wish for anybody to experience what he went through. -