Burning Soul

Thirty

Thirty
🌸Everlee🌸

"You know when I first met your father I thought he was coming to save all of us at first." I'm pulled out of my daze by Blaze's voice and I turn my head to look at him to see he is looking out into the distance, the coast of Turkey gradually getting closer. It shouldn't be too long before we get there and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed because once we get off this boat, all the chaos begins again.

"What made you think that?" I shuffle closer, trying to wrap part of the blanket around his broad shoulders, but he shakes his head and throws me a light glare, wanting me to only have the blankets claiming he's not cold.

"He had this warm smile when he greeted us and he seemed so reluctant when it came to testing on us. I could see the doubt on his face. He looked regretful about being there. Your father would always keep a picture on him and I'd always spot him looking at it at least five times a day, I couldn't make out what the image was but I'm sure it was you." My eyes sting with tears and I do my best to blink them away. "It was clear after a year of him working that he wasn't a good man, especially when the picture that he once carried got balled up in his fist and chucked in a nearby fire. He chose torturing boys over having a family."

I bite down on my bottom lip and drop my gaze down to my lap.

"A boy I used to know back there, I always used to laugh at him for wishing that he had a family. I thought to myself it couldn't be that good if Samuel didn't even want to be around his own, but now I get it. That boy knew what he wanted straight away, it's like he could almost feel it." Blaze smiles gently as he thinks about the distant memory.

"What was he called?" I tilt my head, now resting my cheek against his bicep.

"He was called Theodore. Naive kid, but he had a good heart. Not sure whether he's alive to this day but if he is, I hope he's got the family he wanted." Blaze says with a tight smile.

"Do you think he has?"

"I tell myself every day that he's out there happy. He went through some fucked up shit and happiness is all that he deserves." Blaze laces our fingers together and lifts my hand to press a firm kiss on the back of it.

"You deserve it too," I whisper and a throaty chuckle leaves his mouth.

"I don't think I do, baby." My eyebrows furrow.

"You don't think you deserve happiness?" My hand tightens around his.

Blaze doesn't think he deserves happiness but for what reason? It's not his fault he ended up where he did at such a young age. There's nothing he could have done, he was too young.

"When you get told that you don't deserve happiness every day, I guess it just sticks with you." He shrugs so casually and my heart breaks for him. "I don't know how much longer I'm going to have this, have you. You're not going to have me much longer, Everlee." Those emerald eyes that I adore so much finally look down at me and all I can see is sadness swimming in the depths of them.

My heart constricts so tight and my ears ring when anxiety makes its way through my body.

"But we're going to get your chip removed, yours and Cairo's."

"I'm not getting the chip removed, Everlee." My heart almost stops and my mouth falls open.

I stand up from my seated position, the blanket sliding off my arms. Blaze still keeps a tight hold of my hand. "What?"

"I'm not risking my life for that chip. If I'm going to die, then it's going to be protecting you, not from your stupid ex attempting to remove the chip and killing me on the operating table. It doesn't matter whether the chip is in my brain or not, I don't think I'll be seeing next year." He says those words like its nothing and I swallow the lump in my throat