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Warnings(notreally): unprotected sex, praising, fem! oral receiving, teasing, body worshipping, nipple play
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He'd done it again. Jasper was no where to be seen when I woke up this morning, for the third time this week. Jasper was disappearing every morning, and coming back mid day all beat up and drunk, bleeding from his cheekbone, or forehead.
I hate seeing him like this, so distraught over a girl he'd just met, but I'm not mad at him for it, she was everything I wasn't, beautiful, kind, sweet. (In need of a hair brushlol)
And I was... me. I'm sensitive, awkward, kinda dumb at times, weak. I have no idea what he sees in me, but I've learned to live with that he fell for her. I used to want to rip my hair out at the thought of Jasper loving Maya, it was distressing, but I've learnt to live with it.
I could now only see myself as disgusting in his eyes, a meer bystander to his story. Only driving him closer to our downfall. A downfall inevitable, as of the last two times
We also haven't has sex since before he met Maya. Which has been painfully long.
Sometimes he'd leave me with a burning feeling in my stomach and I'd have to deal with it myself. We use to be so comfortable around eachother, I'd always tell him when I was horny, but it feels.. weird now.
He barely wanted to hug me, let alone fuck me, or eat me out.
And it was very difficult, since he'd gotten hotter since she died, and I know it was a sign of his innocence and once childish manor was gone, but it was never truly gone. Instead he was just traumatized, and I'll never blame him for changing cause of what he's been through.
After I thought longer, Clarke made me get up. "C'mon Y/n, sulking won't get Jasper back to you." She sighed. "I don't think he really even wants to be with me anymore." I huffed as I slipped on my black and white 'daddy's little monster' top that I painted.
I throw on my cargo jeans and one of Jasper's jackets, pulling my hair into a low pony tail.
I spent the day fixing one of the broken generators with Raven, and moping around overthinking and dreading when Jasper comes back.
I walk back to our shared room, shutting the door behind me and collapsing against the door. I didn't even realise that Jasper was in the room with me. His head snapped toward me lying on the floor, his eyes widening looking at the tears streaming down my face.
