Chapter 37

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Morgana's POV

I took out the key to her house I had kept safely, put it in the lock, turned it, and pushed the door open. 

It was quiet, and dusty, because it hasn't been touched in a long time. 

I had no idea where to even start, so I just wandered to the kitchen, Trinity following me silently. 

I saw all of the pictures she had framed around the house, and it made me cry again, for the millionth time in the last 3 days. 

I picked one up, brushed the dust off lightly. It was a picture of us the day she got her license, one of the best days we ever had. We just drove all over for hours. We got food, we got ice cream, we went shopping. It was freedom at it's finest. 

I guess that was my car now too. 

I left mine with my parents when I moved to college, and ended up just selling it because I figured I would just get a better one because I knew I was going to the NWSL and USWNT eventually. 

I just turned to Trinity, and cried into her shoulder. 

She didn't say anything, just rubbed my back and let me cry. 

This was going to be an unbearable process, I just knew it. 

There was a knock at the door, so I wiped my face off and answered it. It was the lawyer, and he gave me a few envelopes and left. 

I opened one that was labeled will, and it had everything that belonged to me in it. 

I realized I was going to have to sell the apartment. I might have to leave that to my parents if I could. 

The next thing was a letter from her that was supposed to be a response to the one I wrote her a while ago. 

There was a few pieces of paper in the envelope. The one on top said "I'm Sorry" written really big. Under it, it said: "I know I caused you pain, I know we had a rough end but I know you miss me, and I know you cried for me. But you've got someone better than me now." 

I didn't understand, so I grabbed the other papers. 

It was a long note. 

I took a minute to mentally prepare myself for it, because I had no idea what was coming. 

Trinity watched as I gingerly picked up the note, and took a deep breath before starting to read.  

Dear Morgana, 
I'm so sorry I have to leave you like this. You don't deserve it. 
I'm also sorry for being so horrible to you in the end. Drugs make you do crazy things. You didn't deserve that. 
Anyway, you've been doing so well in soccer. I'm so proud of you. You have no idea. I hate that I'm going to miss everything I know you will accomplish. You're going to be the greatest there ever was. And I can't believe I'm going to miss it. 
I'm proud of you for going to college, and even though you dropped out, you're going to play pro. That's your dream. It's what you've always wanted. 
The best part about you playing for the Red Stars is the fact that you get to play alongside Mal. A childhood teammate and now the one you love.
While I'm shocked you ended up with Mallory Pugh, your sworn enemy confuses me, but as long as you're happy, I'm happy. And I love her too. 
You're the only one I'm writing to, so I just have a few messages I need you to pass on.
To your new teammates and best friends; thank you for bringing out the best in Morgana. Continue to be the amazing people she described in her letter to me.
To Mallory Pugh, please keep my sister happy. Don't break her heart, and hold her close. She's a keeper. You make her happy, and I love you for that. 
To Hayley, I'm sorry I can't be the fun cool aunt I was so excited to be. I blew it. But you still have the coolest aunt ever. I love you. 
To Chloe, thanks for trying your absolute hardest to help me always. Even though you hated me growing up, you still cared about me enough lately to try to help me. And I'm sorry those efforts were wasted. It's not fair to you or your family. I could apologize forever and it still wouldn't mean even close to half as much as what you did for me. Thanks for being a good older sister, even if you hated my guts. I love you endlessly, Chlo Chlo.
To Mom and Dad, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for failing you, I'm sorry for being a disappointment. I'm sorry I didn't turn out like either of my amazing sisters. I'm sorry you used all this effort for me to end up like this. Keep Morgana in line for me, alright? I love you both. 
And to you Morgana. My little shadow, my superstar, my best friend. I'm sorry we couldn't go to the soccer fields, or go to the movies, or take a long drive together ever again. I'm so so so sorry for hurting you so badly, not just once but twice. I'm not going to ask much of you. Just these few things. 1. Keep up the good work. Be the best soccer player this world had ever seen. 2. Be yourself. You're the best person ever. Continue to be that. That's what this world needs more of. 
3. Don't miss me too much. You've got too much going for you to waste it thinking about me, which I know you are. Don't miss me too much. We'll meet again. But not for a long, long time. I love you more than the meaning of any words. I'm going to miss you, and you'll miss me, but we can't get caught up in that. We'll meet again. I love you, Morgie. So much. 
Thanks to everyone in my life for everything. 
Especially you, Chloe, Mom, Dad and Morgana.
I'm sorry I'm leaving you all like this. 
It was an honor to be your sister and your daughter. But I didn't deserve it. 
I love you. 
Love, 
Lena

I couldn't think straight. 

I'm heartbroken at the note. 

Just everything about it. 

I wish this never happened. 

It' just not fair to her. 

I just fell to the ground sobbing. Trinity sat next to me, and pulled me into a hug. 

I wished Mal were here, but Trinity being here means everything to me. 

It's just not fair. 




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