Beyond The Barricade | les misérables

twenty five

Three months felt like years. Marius had told me he and Cosette were getting married and while I was happy for him, I still felt that hint of jealousy and hurt. I did my best to hide it whenever I was with the two but it was growing more and more difficult.

I sat in a chair in Marius' room at his grandfather's house, watching him as he fidgeted with the ring he had gotten for Cosette silently. He was thinking. Hard. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair as he looked up at me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, leaning forward in the chair.

"I'm just.. they should all be here," he mumbled. I stayed quiet as his eyes shot from me to the wall in front of him. "Hyacinth and I would always talk about what we thought our weddings would be like. She was never into it but she liked the idea of seeing me marry someone." I could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke. I looked down at my feet.

"Cosette had an idea and I promised I'd ask you about it first," he said. I looked back up at him and raised an eyebrow at him. He took a breath and leaned back. "She thinks we should reserve a row for them. She said we could put candles on the seats to symbolize them."

I inhaled harshly and stared at him, not really knowing what to say.

"I think you should," I said without thinking.

"She also.. she also thought we could find something special for you to have with you to have her with you." He looked at me cautiously, his voice going quieter as he spoke. My breath caught in my throat and I looked at the window, feeling like the air was being sucked out of the room. All I could do was nod at him. Nothing had gotten easier. I couldn't even say her name without losing it. Marius was healing at a much quicker rate than I was.

"Is her family coming?" I asked. "Were you close with them?"

"Yes. Her father and sisters will be there. He's like my father so it was always in my plans to have him with me."

"Any sign of where her mother or Anthony are?"

The pair had vanished after the barricade fell and no one had seen them since. It was like they ran and never looked back. It was odd, but no one was complaining in the slightest.

"No, and thankfully so. Her sisters are safe as long as she's gone."

Anthony deserves to rot in hell. He deserved to be given the worst punishment known to man. But that will never happen. Not with him out of sight.

I sighed loudly and pushed myself up off the seat. I walked toward the window and pulled it shut, the cold breeze chilling me. We had moved from warm weather to cool weather and it was supposed to signal change. Her father had said it might help the moving on process but it hadn't.

I patted Marius on the shoulder and walked toward the door.

"I'm going to go. I'll be back tomorrow and we can finalize everything else," I said, my hand on the handle.

"Okay, I'll see you later," he responded. I walked out into the hall and pulled the door shut behind me. I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked down the stairs toward the front door. I nodded at the servants as I left the house, walking toward the place I had been visiting frequently.

The Toussaint house.

The outline came into view after about twenty minutes of walking and the warm light from the inside reflected on the grass outside. I walked straight to the door and knocked. Constance pulled the door open and smiled at me. I smiled back, though every time she smiled it reminded me of Hyacinth.

She pulled me inside and yelled out to her father, slamming the door behind me. She walked over to a chair and sat down, scribbling on a piece of paper.

"Enjolras," their father said, walking into the room.

"Monsieur Toussaint."

"My boy, how many times have I told you to call me Jean," he smiled, patting my shoulder. I relaxed slightly as he looked over at Constance.

I followed his gaze and watched the younger girl write furiously.

"She's a lot like her," he said. "Headstrong and takes being told no as a challenge." He had a joking tone. I smiled, putting my hands behind my back.

The house had one servant by the name of Lucille. She hurried around the house despite being told by Jean she didn't have to do everything. She took care of the two girls like a mother would and assisted making food, which Jean had proudly proclaimed as his job. They weren't like an average family now, and the people talked about them.

Harshly.

A dead revolutionary daughter, wife ran away, and only one staff member. I knew Jean didn't care, but it made my blood boil when I heard someone mutter their name under their breath.

I followed Jean into the dining room and sat down at the large table. He sat in front of me and looked at me, waiting for me to say something. Only I didn't know what to say.

"How is Marius' wedding coming along?" he finally said, folding his hands on the table.

"Well. He's almost done with everything he needs to do now."

"And when is it?"

"Early May," I said.

The date was coming closer and every day, Marius had something new to think about. He was never done with plans. We should've been done a week ago but he kept thinking of things to add to his list.

"My girls are excited. Constance has never seen a wedding," he laughed.

"I uh.. I just wanted to let you know they're reserving a row for all those we lost on the barricade. If you want to bring something for her, you're welcome to," I said. He took a breath and his eyes softened. I could see the mixed emotions on his face.

"That's lovely. I'll make sure to bring some things."

I gave him a small smile and looked past his face to the wall. There was a picture of her hanging there and I felt my world crumble. I nearly lost my composure. Jean followed my gaze and he sat straight up.

"I have something for you, should you want it," he said, standing from the table. I ran my fingers under my eyes to get rid of any tears and followed behind him, my heart pounding. He led me into his study and walked behind the wooden desk, opening a large drawer. He paused for a moment, looking down at whatever he had pulled out and cracked a small smile.

He straightened up and lifted a picture frame to his chest. I held my breath as he extended it out to me, the picture facing upwards. It was her, an open smile on her face. She was laughing, that much I could tell.

"I had wanted genuine pictures of my girls for years and finally had the opportunity to have them taken. Marius made a joke and that was the moment captured."

I held it up to my face, staring at her. This was how I knew her. That smile was all I knew.

"She didn't smile like that a lot. Marius brought it out of her, sometimes her sisters did. But I can see by the look in your eyes that you also had that power," he said. I looked up at him curiously.

"She wasn't always like this?"

"Oh, my boy, no. There was pressure on her to be perfect all the time. The only time she could smile like that was when she was relieved of that pressure."

I took a second. I knew she was comfortable with all of us. She was never tense in a meeting, but one fact had never occurred to me.

She didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't around us. We were that relief.

I was that relief.

"Thank you," I said, pressing the picture against my chest.

"No, thank you. Thank you for showing her how love felt. There wasn't a lot of it in her life and I'm comfortable knowing she found something to make up for that."

My eyes teared up as he talked. His voice cracked and I could tell he was going to cry at any given moment. I gave him a smile and exited the room, walking straight to the front door.

I ducked my head down and walked slowly to my house.