Beyond The Barricade | les misérables

twenty eight

The wedding was in a matter of hours now. I sat in Marius' room alone as he talked to his grandfather about everything. I stared at the clothes set out for him and studied it. It was nothing like I'd ever seen him wear. It was strange thinking of him marrying someone. Especially since I was the only one here to see it.

He came into his room and threw his door closed. I stared at him as he dropped onto his bed.

"Everything alright?" I asked. He sat up and looked at me.

"I am incredibly nervous."

I stood up and walked toward him, sitting myself down next to him. I put a hand on his shoulder and we just sat in silence. I had no clue what to say and he knew that. We had come to terms with the fact that I didn't know exactly what to do to make him less nervous.

"This is going to be perfect," I said. "And after you're going to live a great life with the girl you love."

He looked at me and hit my back, giving me a small smile. I could tell he could see the pain behind my eyes with his expression. He didn't say anything, but that was better than him speaking any of the  'you'll find someone new' shit that his grandfather had been feeding me.

He looked over at his clothes and sighed loudly. I followed his gaze and caught sight of the white rose sitting next to it. It had a red ribbon tied around the stem and there was something shining in the light. Marius looked over at me and I raised an eyebrow, standing up. I walked toward the flower and looked close at it.

There was a necklace, much like the one I had taken from her room tied to the ribbon. I looked over my shoulder at Marius who wore a sad smile.

"It was Cosette's idea. I got with her father to get something she wore frequently. We'll pin that on your jacket," he said. I inhaled and held it, fighting tears. "I know it's not the same as having her here but at least you have a piece of her."

I bit the inside of my lip and held eye contact with him.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

We got dressed and Marius pinned the rose on me. I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself not to break down. I had been quietly dreading this day. As it had gotten closer I realized how hard it would be to see a chair with her name on it. To see her family put things there for her. To wear a flower instead of having her by my side.

I walked down to the ballroom and looked at the set up. The pair had wanted to get married here and so we set up outside and would direct the party afterward inside. Through the window I could see the chairs were set, candles were lit, it looked perfect. I walked toward a door and pushed it open, leading Marius outside. People had already begun to show up. I walked toward the makeshift altar and turned around, staring at the empty row of chairs.

Marius held onto my shoulder as silence hit us. They were all staring. Every person here knew what we had gone through. Everyone knew how many people we had lost. My eyes fell on her chair. Her name was engraved, like everyone else's, in a cursive script. A candle sat on the seat and a few things from her father sat next to it. I placed my hand on the back and looked down at my feet.

We were directed to stand at the altar. I stood behind Marius as Cosette made her way toward us. She looked great. Marius stared at her in awe as she got closer. I couldn't help but feel that bitterness build up.

This should be us. I should be looking at her in white, smiling like an idiot. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She wasn't supposed to be an empty chair or a white rose. She was supposed to be my wife.

"I would like to call for a moment of silence for those lost on the barricade on June 6."

The only noise that could be heard was nature beginning to wake as the sun rose. I felt my eyes water and I watched as Marius stared at each individual seat. He turned to me, a tear running down his face. Cosette out a hand on his arm gently as we let the emotions grow.