xoxo || a gossip girl fanfic

a month later

( just pretend this stuff was happening when gossip girl was based) since the last time i've reported a lot has changed! i've successfully moved to la for the summer, and now my album is coming out! my agent and producers are saying if i get another one out in the next month or so i can possibly go on tour! so i've been gathering together a bunch of old songs and trying to come up with new ones! also i've been on twelve red carpets including movie premieres! but anyways, while i've been in la i've become friends with a few quote on quote teen celebs? i don't even know. these teen celebs include harry styles, zayn malik, louis tomlinson, niall horan, liam payne, kendall jenner, gigi hadid, bella hadid, and hailey baldwin. speaking of which i'm about to go on the late late show with james corden and the tomorrow night with jimmy fallon! what i wore on the late late show: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/662944007664913931/ harry and i started playing fill your guts or spill your guts after james introduced us. "how you feeling?" harry asked. "i don't know. i can't believe i agreed to this." i said, somewhat laughing.  "this is your first time, and my first time correct?" harry asked. "correct." i replied. "and the last time i will do it also. let's take a look at the food at the table! we have bug trifle." harry added. the crowd said ewww. "yeah ewww. jellyfish." harry said. the crowd said ewww again. "yeah ewww. giant water scorpion." harry added. "that's the worst one." i said. "a thousand year old eggnog. cow blood and pork tongue jelly. " harry said. "that's insane." i added. "cod sperm! seems kind of tame compared to the other ones." harry exclaimed. i laughed. "how do they uh, get the sperm out of the cod? salmon smoothie. and finally bull penis." harry asked. "good old bull penis." i said. "so i'll ask the first question." harry offered. "okay." i replied. "and the uhm producers have not shown us the questions. i'll choose the food you have to eat if you should not answer the question."  harry replied. "okay." i said. "so we're going to start with one thousand year old eggnog." harry said, spinning the table so the eggnog would face me. "oh no." i said, laughing.  "is this cinnamon stick suppose to make anything seem better?" i asked, while the crowd laughed. "give it a sniff." harry replied. i picked up the eggnog and smelt it. i've never smelt something so terrible. "oh my god!" i exclaimed, gagging. "if there's one thing you should know about my friend aspen here, she's not good with smells."  harry said, laughing. "okay ready?" harry added. "no!" i exclaimed. "okay. if you look up your name on google a website called gossip girl comes up, would you mind explaining what gossip girl is?" harry asked. "yeah, okay, that's not bad." i said. "continue i want to hear this." harry said. "well uhm, gossip girl is well this website, as you said, where someone can send a photo or message to this gossip person, and the gossip person will either take that photo or message twist it up into some kind of tweet, like on twitter, and everyone who signed up for the notifications automatically gets a text message. yeah." i said. "oh okay, gossip." harry said. "i can say there's a lot of that on the upper east side." i replied. "now your turn." harry said. "okay, i'll do the sperm." i replied. "okay. all in a day's work." harry stated. "i'm dying to know this. which songs that you wrote on your new one direction album that came out yesterday, are about me?" i said. he covered his eyes with his's hand. i started laughing. he put a napkin on like a bib and ate the sperm. "ew!!!!" i screamed, as his spit out the food into his bucket. "okay my turn, salmon smoothie. give her a sniff." harry said. i sniffed it. "your trying to get me uncomfortable. i also hate salmon by the way." i stated. "on this gossip girl website, your spotted with people named blair, serena, nate, and chuck. rate them by most dramatic." harry said. "they're my best friends! but i feel like i could do it." i said. "i feel like i could do it reading these messages!" harry said. "okay least dramatic is my boyfriend nate." i said. the crowd awed. "second i would like to say serena or chuck. i'm going to go with chuck because most of his stuff isn't that bad. keyword that. then i'll go serena. and lastly blair. blair don't kill me! i'm basing them off of gossip girl!" i exclaimed. "ooooh!" harry exclaimed. i laughed and said, "okay. the bug trifle. have you ever looked me up on instagram? i even know the answer!" i exclaimed. "yes i have." harry stated. "want to tell them what you did?" i asked. "i slid into her dms." harry said. the crowd and i laughed. "i think we're gonna go with the bull penis." harry said. "yum." i said. "haha. you're new to the celebrity world. who is the most surprising celeb to ever slide into your dms?" harry asked. i laughed. "who is he?" harry shouted. "i feel like i can say it, right?" i asked. "unless you want to eat some bull penis. well it depends. i don't know what it depends on. but i guess it depends." harry pointed out. say it the crowd was saying. "of course you wanna know!" i replied. "is there someone that you're thinking of?" harry asked. "yea." i replied. "is saying it worse than eating bull penis?" harry asked. "probably." i replied. "i'm eating the penis." i said, putting the penis in my mouth (I CAN'T WITH THAT SENTENCE.). i spit it out in the bucket. "okay last question. what am i eating?" harry asked. "mhhmmm, i'll give you the scorpion thing." i said. "the- okay." harry said. "between zayn malik, louis tomlinson, niall horan, and liam payne ranking their solo-" i tried to say but harry but the scorpion in his mouth before i could say anything. that is all!