𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

𝟬𝟴. 𝗥𝘆𝗱𝗲𝗿

Who the fuck is Fraser, why's he calling her and why does she love him?

"Can you put your foot down? We're on an empty road and you're still going at 25." I complain to Kingsley who is driving my car because although he's not completely sober, he's the safer option out of the both of us.

"Are you in a rush to get home or something?" He asks but I'm not.

"Yes."

Dying to get to the fucking ring and beat the shit out of someone who doesn't deserve it because I'm angry, and that's just how I deal with it.

When we finally pull up outside of my brick house, I slide out of my merc before slamming it shut.

"Drive home I'm going out." I instruct Kingsley so he backs out of my drive. There's no point in him being here if I'm not.

I head straight up to my bedroom, ignoring the calls of my mother because the voice in my head that tells me to be selfish is much louder today. I need to calm down before seeing her, I don't want to lash out at someone when they've done nothing wrong.

I get changed into some sweat shorts and a hoodie, bringing some boxing shorts with me for the ring. Before I leave I dip my head into Lilahs room, she's fast asleep clutching onto her panda teddy she's had since she was a baby. The sight warms my fucking heart and for a minute I wish I could go back to that age again, fuck knows I'd do anything.

"I'm going to the ring, text me if you need anything." I say to my mom who's placed comfortably in front of the tv. She nods and I make my way out, receiving a whole fucking shopping list the second my foot hits the cement.

— — —

"I want somebody else."

"Well there's no body else Grayson, already told you this. You're the only one mad enough to come here at half twelve, you're lucky I keep up with your ass or you'd be punching the bag over there. So stop with the fucking complaints and hit me." My trainer says and I comply, because unfortunately he's right.

I punch and I punch, each one getting stronger than the last until my body aches and my eyes threaten to close from the light.

With one last swing, I hit the hand pads as if they are all of my emotions. Ridding myself of sadness, jealousy and anger.

"We're done. Go home." Coach says as I fall to the ground, closing my eyes as my breathing evens out.
Sometimes I think about how nice it would be if I never had to open them again. But there's people that need me here, and I can't afford to make them suffer because I want to be selfish.

I get my ass up, shower, change and head to do the daily fucking shop.

"Keep the change." I say after slamming the twenty dollar bill on the counter. Taking the plastic bag filled with bread, milk and every other normal house hold necessity.