𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

𝗕𝗼𝗻𝘂𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿: 𝗟𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗻

"Come on Lilah, this way." I guide Delilah towards Beaus plot, and wonder how it must feel as a child, visiting someone they can't physically see or hear. She takes a seat on one of the stools this cemetery offers visitors, and I make sure it's been planted securely in the ground before letting go of her waist.

She starts talking to her almost immediately.

'Hello.' 'How are you?' 'It's me, Lilah.'

Mikey holds his face in the same pain that's taking over my chest. I think about them—Lilah and Beau. What they could have been, what they could have seen, what they could have learned together. The experiences she's been robbed of, the sister taken from her too soon.

I think about the day we'll have to tell Lilah the truth, the day she understands the real concept of death. But for now I enjoy the beauty of a child's innocence, and try to believe that Beau's not too far, even if it couldn't be further from the truth.

"But Kingsley, are you sure she can hear me?" Delilah looks up, squinting a bit. I immediately nod, because that's something I believe myself, for once.

"Yeah, of course she can hear you Lil, she just can't reply." She nods and returns back to the conversation that continues to rip my heart strings, and maybe I understand why Grayson never turns up. It's hard, it's fucking hard. It's all you can think about with each mile that passes on your journey, and you arrive through the gates knowing there's not a house or building or church where you'll find your person, but a grey headstone instead.

I read her headstone, whispering her name over and over again. It's like a knife that plunges deeper and deeper and just when you think it'll poke out the other end, and drive straight through your back, it only inserts itself further. She was just a baby really, still a little girl waiting for the thunder to stop. And the worst part is we all knew it was thundering, we heard it ourselves. We knew she had a storm hitting her, but storms finish and begin, they die and they return back with a vengeance.

Beau's was always more than a storm though, her battle was a fucking tornado. It had the strength to pick her up and leave her somewhere else, but everytime she managed to find the will power to drag herself back home, but that night was different; that night she saw the swirls and ran with open arms. This time it swept her up and took her for good.

She was like a sister, and as much as I can say that about Amy and Bella and any other girl that I might meet throughout the duration of the rest of my life, they'll never compare to Beau. She was different, I never had a brother or a sister but when I met her I think I felt what it might have been like to really have someone that was just like me. That knew what a rich tea was, that didn't look at me sideways when I called a cigarette a fag. Beau was that little piece of England that I didn't realise I missed as much as I did, and dating her bestfriend only makes losing her worse.

Because Kaylee, whether she knew it or not, couldn't go a day without mentioning her bestfriend. They were like soulmates, what do they call it? Twin flames—platonically of course. Kaylee taught me more about Beau than I realised Beau did herself. She never exposed her secrets or overshared shit that was too personal, but it felt like I knew her differently, because Kaylee knew her differently.