𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

𝟯𝟬. 𝗗𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

A/N: I've been waiting to write this chapter for almost 6 months.
Any comments calling her dramatic= straight block.
Play the song before you begin to read if your able to still concentrate, if not maybe play it at a lower volume so you'll still get the effect.
No commenting until you've read the whole chapter this time! (but you can come back)
Apologies for the wait, I've been anxious about posting this.
Enjoy x

I finish snorting yet another line with the girls.

Girls I don't even know the names of. Girls who banged on my cubicle whilst I still had white powder decorating my nose, that just wanted a high like me.

The feel of my nostril against the back of my hand, the cold sensation of the metal key, or the wooden table feels like a deathly sin.

But I've never been an angel.

I crawled out of the pits of hell I was thrown in, in an attempt to turn my life around. And when I realised that there was no hope for me I jumped head first back into the flames. I revelled in the way they consumed me whole, an extraordinary amount of pain that soars through you before you're numb.

You're numb.

I can't feel my feet as I drop down low in the middle of this busy club, but I guess that's ok because the less I feel the better.

Until the pain spreading across the course of my body has distinguished by the power of my drugs, and I'll allow myself to feel again.

It's a high like I've never had before, it's hell to the innocent but heaven to the twisted. It's the exhilarating and pumping adrenaline mixed with blurry vision. It's shallow breaths inbetween rapid ones.

It's truly everything I've ever dreamed of, and it's finally the end of what feels like a life-long nightmare.

Because the drugs have succumbed my body to be its greatest experiment, and if it means I don't ever have to feel how I felt last night, I'll volunteer every damn time.

They've blinded my vision until I see only the red strobe lights, switched on by the devil himself.

They've stopped my senses and warped my brain. I don't know where I am, who I'm with, what I've become.

They've silenced the tormenting screams of my mind, they've filled me with bliss.

I destroyed everything that night. My balcony, my bedroom, my mind. Everything is unrecognisable.

But nothing is as unrecognisable as the girl that stares back at me in the reflection of this mirror. The one who can't keep her eyes open, and when they are they're unnaturally dilated.

The one who currently has poison running through her blood like cells, as if it's her saviour and not her disease.

The little girl who's mother would drop to her knees and weep to God if she saw how her precious daughter turned out.