𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

𝟭𝟭. 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲

(A little earlier)

She stands there, flustered from the sentence I just let out as her cheeks glow red. Completely different to how she looked the other night, it's as if every time I see her I can't wash away the image of a broken Beau from my mind.

Just as I'm about to speak again the door flies open and Joanne walks in with a bottle of champagne. She's been my ring girl since I can remember, but that doesn't mean I hold any loyalty towards her one bit. It's true what people say, I did fuck her. At Mikeys party to be exact, the same one Beau now knows I smashed three girls at.

In all honesty I don't know why I exposed that one. I think it was after she got off the call to Fraser, who I soon learnt is no more than her fucking brother.

Despite my obvious dislike towards Joanne, for some reason I could never get rid of her. She might be a pain in the ass but I know there's worse - it's the only thing thats kept her position.

"Who is she?" I internally cringe at the way she said that, after we had sex she was all over me. I would have thought with the lack of care I was giving, she would have got bored by now but no; still fucking at it.

I look between both the girls, evidently noticing the lack of beauty when my eyes meet Joannes. I don't really know what to say, it's not like Beau and I are dating but neither are me and Joanne. "Just a friend" sounds as if that's all it can be, all it should be because I'm in a relationship with 'Anne, but I'm not.

"No one." It slipped out of my mouth faster than a child on ice, and if I could turn back time - choosing another word would be the first fucking thing I'd do.
The way her face dropped won't leave my mind. Like I crushed every ounce of hope she held and watched as it crumbled out onto the ground. I feel fucking horrible, a real dick for that.

She stormed out around three hours ago now but it's still replaying over and over again in my mind, nothing seems to be able to wash it away.

I scroll through social media, it's a great distraction when it wants to be. Until some days, it decides to show you exactly what you were trying to escape from. Like now for example, when both Bella and Amy post selfies with Beau in all four of them.

And fuck me, if she doesn't look better than I've ever seen.

"The fuck you smirking at?" Mikey shouts out to me. The boys are currently at mine because it's a Friday night so why the fuck not. Also Mikey has a drop off to give one of his regulars- Archie I think is his name, at Craig's; so it was more convenient since he lives further.

"Nothing." I reply blandly, but it's a lie. Beau could never be nothing- nothing to see, nothing to hear, and definitely not nothing to know.

But after tonight I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I made her feel like.

— — —

"No Lilah, presents are meant to be given on the actual birthday, so you'll just have to wait until tomorrow alright?" Mikey says. It's her birthday tomorrow, and as horrible as it sounds I can't wait until it's over. Give my ears a break from hearing her talk about it for the last three fucking months.