Ruhani ~ The Language Of Love

45 ~ The Confession

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Ruhani POV

I sat down on the couch and started penning down.

'Hum jaante hai jindagi utni haseen nahi hoti jitni hum khwabo me socha karte hai or ye sabak hume bhot choti umr me hi mil gaya tha. Hum Sooraj ko isliye nahi dekhte kyuki vo hume ummeed deta hai kuch naya hone ki, ek nayi subah ki. Hum sooraj ko isliye dekhte hai kyuki vo hamesha ladta hai hamare liye. Is andhere se. Aap sahi kehte hai ye andhera sachayi hai, in taaro ke paar, jameen se door, bas andhera hi andhera hai. Magar sooraj sirf hume ummeed nahi deta par apna farz ada bhi karta hai. Apni jameen ko, fasal ko, ped podho ko apni garmi se ek maa ki tarah seechta hai or ek baap ki tarah andhere se bachata hai. Jese aapne hamesha kiya, apni Sultanate ko seecha hai, dushmano se bachaya hai or maa ki tarah sambhala hai. Apni jimmedariyo ko kisi bhi Sultan se behtar nibhaya. Jis umr me aap bigad sakte the, haar sakte the, bhaag sakte the, aapne apne abbu ki baato ko yaad rakha. Hum jaante hai vo aap par bhot fakr karte honge. Itna ki shayad is jahan me koi apni aulad pe na karta ho. 22 saal ke hai aap bass or aapka tajurba aapki umr se dugna hai Sultan. Magar, hume ek cheej ka bhot afsos hota hai aapke abbu ke liye. Ki vo jis aulad pe itna fark karte hai itni mohobbat karte hai vo to khudko un gunaho ki saza de raha hai jo unhone kabhi kiye hi nahi. Kabhi haste nahi, kabhi khush hote nahi, basss tanhai me apne abbu ko yaad karte hai. Hume bahut bura laga hai aapke abbu ke liye ki vo jaha bhi honge aapko tadapta dekh khoob rote honge. Magar, vo to chahkar bhi wapis aa nahi sakte. Lekin, aap to unke dukh ko kam kar sakte hai, unko rihaah kar sakte hai is beintehah dard se. Hum denge aapka saath, aakhri saas tak, har cheej me. Aapke ache or bure waqt me, hamesha magar aapko dard me or nahi dekh sakte. Ab aap sirf Aashiq Sultan nahi hai, hamare Shauhar bhi hai or hum aapse beintehah mohobbat karte hai, aapki hasi se hum has jaate ho or aapke aansuo ki nami se sehm jaate hai. Toot jaate hai aapke tadapta dekh. Apne liye nahi to kam se kam hamare liye ab aap roye nahi, apne abbu ko apni khushi me yaad kare or unhe bhi apni aulad ko khush dekh hasne de. Vo jinda hote to bhi yahi chahte.

~ Aapki Begum, Ruhani"

"We go that life is not as beautiful as we imagine in dreams and I got this lesson at a very young age. I don't see the sun because it gives us hope of something new, new dawn. I see the sun because it always fights for us from this darkness. You are right, this darkness is true, beyond the stars, away from the ground, only darkness is there. But the sun not only gives us hope but also fulfills its duty. He is looking for a mother or a father and saves his land, crops, trees, and plants with his warmth. Just like you have done to us, have seen your sultanate, saved them from enemies, and handled it like a mother. Fulfilled his responsibilities better than any Sultan ever did. The age at which you could grow up bad, you could lose, you could run away, you remembered your own father's point. I know, he must be feasting on you. So much so that perhaps no one in the world does it to his children. You are just 22 years old, and your experience is twice your age Sultan. But, I feel sorry for one thing about your father. That the child on whom he feels proud, he loves so much, is punishing himself for those sins that he has never committed. Never smiles, never feels happy, and Only remembers his father in loneliness. I feel very bad for your father that wherever he is, he must cry a lot seeing you suffer. But, he can't come back even if he wants to. But, you can ease his suffering, release them, and lessen his pain. I will support you, till the last breath of mine, in everything. In your pain or bad times, always can not see yourself in pain anymore. Now you are not the only Aashiq Sultan, you are also my husband and I love you immensely, with your smile I smile, and with your tears, I feel my eyes wet. Seeing your agony, I break down. If not for yourself, then you should not cry for at least me, for your father, remember him in your happiness or let him also laugh to see his son happy. He would have wanted this even if he was alive.