Ruhani ~ The Language Of Love

63 ~ Father and Daughter

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Aahil POV

Two days had passed, and no one ate, slept or even moved an inch from their place. The physicians said that she was out of danger, but she still had not gained consciousness back.

I completed reading everything she wrote and realised how much she loved me. I mean, I knew she loved me, but the depth, the dimensions of it, was something I never absorbed from her eyes alone.

There were so many incidents mentioned in it of which I had no idea. Like, the incidents of findings of histories of our Sultanate. After reading it, I realised it was not the love which stopped her from going back to her Sultanate, but it was the responsibilities that she realised upon herself of being a Queen that stopped her from going there.

I did not realise when my innocent Ruhani turned into a powerful Sultana of our Sultanate. Even I was shocked and surprised by the amendments she made. They were phenomenal and apt for the changes.

But, everything was in vain until she opened her eyes and continued ruling her Sultanate, in which she made changes she decided to administer.

I looked at her, sitting beside me. Everyone was there too.

I inhaled a deep breath and raked my eyes around. I found my mother sitting in the corner with dried tears on her cheek. I knew she was hurt too.

I stood up from there and walked towards her. She also needed someone; I also needed my mother. I could not hate her. She suffered more than me, yet she stood strong. I knew if she had known that Ruhani was Pregnant, she would have been taken care of. And the only mistake she committed was never trying to see what was happening to my wife. 

She never tried to visit her and even stopped both Adeena and Saeed.

"Ammi,"

I muttered slowly, sitting on the floor against her. She broke into cries and held my hand with shaking fingers.

"Aashiq, I am so sorry. I swear, if I had known she was with a child, I would have taken good care of her... I am sorry... when she started making changes and handling the affairs of the Sultanate... she refused to listen to me... I mean, I tried to stop her, but she was determined and it kind of... created a cold war between us... and when she suddenly started disappearing and isolated herself in her chamber... I thought she did not want to see our faces. I had no idea what was going on in her brain. What was she thinking? What was she doing? I am so sorry, I beg of you... I will beg her for forgiveness. It is all my mistake. I thought that the Sultanate was happy with the new Queen, and they all did not need me anymore,"

She said with a slow, shaking voice, and I gulped, not knowing what to answer. Everyone was at fault, everyone, and I was in the first place in that Queue. How could I blame others when I could not understand my wife completely? I must have known that she would not leave me, that she would refuse to go with Haider. I should have known that if she could deny her father when he asked her to leave, who was Haider to ask her?

"I am sorry, Aashiq, I am sorry,"

She muttered.

I nodded silently and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Ammi, I know how much you love Abbu. He passed, but I don't remember you coming out of it. You never moved on, and you still miss him. I know how much it still hollows you. You lost him when you needed him the most. I know how much he meant to you. Do you know... how it feels to be mute? You know how much it takes for a girl to leave her parents and trust a person she never met, never talked and was told to spend her own life with that man only. You know how it feels because you did that, and Ruhani did that too... you know Ammi when I saw her first when I met her first. I just saw you in her. I saw a girl in her who had just left her parents to spend her whole life with me. Even knowing that she was the daughter of Rafiq Sultan, I had made up my mind that I would never harm her or make her feel that this was not her home. But, on our wedding night, I learned she was mute. And the hatred I had for her family bubbled up in me, making me lose my sanity enough that I left her crying. At our wedding, on our very first meeting. I even called her father, and right before me, he told her to return to him... Even after the blunder I made, she refused. She refused her father and still stood for me. Still chose me to stand beside. That day, I fell for her. That day, I decided that no matter what happened, I would never leave her because she was the girl who left her everything just for me. She was the one determined enough to accept me as I was. And she did. I revealed all my secrets, all my weaknesses, to her. I told her everything. You know... she knows me more than anyone in this whole world, and she accepted me as I was. And I did the same. I accepted her as she was. But, every time I visited you, I saw your face, and I remembered everything that you suffered after your father. And it triggered me more to hate her family. But, when I realised that she was the one who was with my father when he was attacked, she was the one whom my father saved. I could not digest it; I could not accept it so easily. Yet, I could not hate her, yet I could not forget her even for a moment. My love for her was never shaken for even a bit; my trust never trembled in her. Because she was still the same girl who left her everything to stand beside my side. And your mistake was that you never saw her like that girl. You never looked at her as just being another woman. Every time you see her with a sight of a wife of my father, you let a woman die inside you for another woman in your house. If you ever understood me, if you ever looked at her from my eyes, you have realised that it was not the money, it was not the gold; it was not land, it was neither the Sultanates nor the support of a huge Sultan that your son ever wanted, it was just her I always prayed for. Her presence around me was my Sultanate; her eyes looking at me were my support, the bangles in her hand were my gold, and her smile was my money. This much I love her, Ammi. You always wanted better than her for me. And look at me, I have everything, everything, but I am a corpse, a living corpse without her,"