The Wrong Love Affair

I'm Sorry, Goodbye

I can't remove Chris' sad face from my head.

'Eric, I'm sorry. I just have to do this.' I blurted out while getting my coat, car keys, and handbag.

'Do what, and sorry for what exactly, and where are you going?' Eric said back confused.

'Sorry, I said that I'll wait for a few days but I just can't, sorry because I know there will never be an easy way to do this. Sorry because I made a mistake, and now only telling the truth is the best option to make, even it if means that...' I paused, I simply have no words anymore. But I know if I won't say this now I may never have the courage to say it. Now my words are being overpowered by my sobs.

'Hey, hey sweetie, what's wrong? I told you no matter what it is it's okay. No matter what it is you are sorry about I forgive you, okay? Just please... just please don't say anything else' Eric is now cupping my face with his hands, trying to wipe my tears with his thumbs while soothing me to stop crying.

I looked him in the eye with the most courageous and most gentle glance I can give him. 'I'm sorry Eric, but I don't think I can do that. I need to be fair to you and to myself. I'm sorry because...' I can't seem to say the next lines, but I know I have to.

'I'm sorry because I fell in love with someone else. I care about you deeply, but it just happened, and now I can't I just can't imagine what it will be like if I won't fight for it. I love you, but, I think I love him more.' I added, reluctantly with the most coherent words I can say while sobbing in between.

Eric moved away, he tried pacing back and forth, and at a quick chance, he punched the wall. So hard that his hands started to bleed.

"Eric, please. Don't.' I said still in between sobs.

"Is it him? Is it Chris?" He asked angrily.

No words came out of my mouth, all I did was nod my head while still looking at the floor.

'Is it over then, between us?' He bravely asked. While trying to hold my hand gently with his bleeding hand.

'I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, I'm really really sorry' I added, while trying to soothe his hands.

'If you are really sorry then please choose me. Why can't you choose me? Why are you throwing away our years worth of love and friendship? Saree, please let me understand.' His expression is now between anger and gentleness and begging. I can't bear to look at him.

'I can't explain it myself, Eric, I just think it happened, and now, I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. and I'm sorry but I really have to go.' I started heading towards the door.

Eric then pulled me close to him, trying to hug me, forcing me to look at him. 'Go where? To him? Sweetie, please if you want me to change anything I will do it. Do you want me back here? I'll do it, I will give up anything and everything just please, stay.'

His next gesture shocked me, he went to kneel and hugged my legs. He is staring straight at me while I try to still focus my eyes on my feet which is where he is now.

'Eric, what are you doing? Please don't do this, I don't deserve you. You deserve to be with someone who will never hurt you.' I said while trying to make him stand on his feet. But Eric is just damn stubborn.

'What do I have to do, Saree? Please tell me. I will do anything, just please don't break up with me.'

"I'm sorry Eric, I guess it was over for a long time, it's just that we have been dragging it out trying to fix something that has been broken beyond repair for a long time." I forced out to say while trying to stand and walk toward the door.

He stood up and reached out for my arm. "If you leave, there will never be a second chance. This is it Saree"

I pulled out from his touch. "Yes, this the end of it Eric.'

I am at a loss for words, I don't want to hurt Eric, but I know I will forever regret and live with 'what if' if I won't do this. I went back to hug him back, and whispered for one last time 'I'm sorry, Eric. Goodbye.'

I then opened the door and left for my car. I dared not look back for I know I might not be brave enough to get through it. I am uncertain if I am doing the right thing, all I know is that I can't forgive myself if I won't do this now.

My mind is raising, I know Chris, he must be extremely angry right now. Ugh! Then I guess this is how it is. My closest friend and boyfriend for years is begging me to stay, yet my mind thinking of Chris. I know if I won't do this now, I may never have the courage to do it, ever. I pulled out my phone and started dialing Chris, I started the car engine. The rigging stopped and I'm now on voicemail. As expected, my Chris is as predictable as ever. I laughed inside at the thought. huh, "My Chris" I spoke out loud. That feels weird. Now it's my turn to look for the one I chose. 

-- 
A/N: 

Wow, 4 years hiatus! I have been trying to finish this book for years, but life happened. Until one day, I woke up and realized. YES, I will finish this, that was yesterday. 
So here I am doing a revenge writing, will finish the book within 2-3 chapters more. 

Hope someone will get to reach this part of the story and tell me I am right for finishing it after all these years. 

Love lots, 
Bree