The Wrong Love Affair

When Everything is Made Right

THREE YEARS LATER

"Is this real? Ms. Sarah Bree Thomas, in flesh?!" Chef Jolly's welcome as I entered the all too familiar restaurant.

"Hi, Chef! It's been a while. Hope you can still remember my favorite, do you still have it on the menu?" I countered back. Looking around and just soaking in the nostalgic mood of Jolly's Bistro.

"I tweaked the recipe 2 years ago, but for you, I'll make an exemption and make the original, will you be fine with at least 30 mins to wait? The kitchen is full right now." Jolly's gleeful response while wiping the bar.

"I can wait even longer, don't worry. I'll have the usual mojito but please make it mild for the starter, I haven't had anything hard in a while."

"Sure! I'll have it served in a bit. Lara's at your favorite spot. You know the way. I'll be with you in a sec." Was his last reply before entering the all-too-noisy kitchen.

I made my way to the back room, which has always been mine and Lara's favorite.

"Knock, knock. I'm looking for my best friend. Someone told me she's here." I joyfully gestured while knocking on the booth's ledge to act as an imaginary door.

"Sareeee! Oh my! You are... Wow, babe, I miss you so much!" Lara's loud response, she jumped up and down when she saw me. It's been three years since I left our small town.

As hard as it was to handle what I'd say two breakups in one week, and working with one of them is just unexplainably difficult. The only explanation I got from Chris was the I Love you, Goodbye lyrics which in any book is unacceptable. He never talked to me again despite us working on the same campus. It was as if I was erased from his memory, or that I am invisible. Sharing a 1000 SQM campus with a person like that is just too crowded, so to give myself time to heal, I decided to leave. I resigned from my job and moved to Italy. Initially, I just planned to finish my culinary studies there for a year, but then a year turned into two, and soon enough two years became three. It was a three-year full of unexpected twists and turns, but ultimately it was about me.

The trip did wonders, at first I was certain that he failed me, he tricked me into falling in love with him only to leave me. But after some time, I realized that what he did save both of us from the route of no return. He obviously was not ready, and forcing it just because we thought it was the right thing to do can do more harm than good. It was a mistake, to begin with, and I don't think a relationship that started wrong will ever be right. I was insecure, he is unsure. It was a disaster waiting to happen. So now three years later, I have no remorse, no more pain or anger toward him. I can just imagine how hard it must have been for him to do the right thing for both of us.

When I first met Chris 3 years ago, I am this naive, shy, unconfident young lady who placed her identity with someone else. Someone who is either drunk or lost. But my Eat and Pray travel was good for the soul. I found myself and learned to love myself more. Radical Self Kindness and Compassion are something I live by. I gained back everything I lost and so much more. I have never been single for a long time, and the past three years made me find the love I never thought possible. Love for myself.

'What you reading?' I asked Lara casually as I saw her trying to hide the book she was holding.

'Ahmm, nothing just some random book I picked up earlier.' she said suspiciously.

I took the book from her hand and read at the cover. It is a familiar book, oh yes. James Patterson's Came Along the Spider is my personal favorite and one of the first books I introduced to Chris. This particular copy is one of the books I gave her to throw or give away from the 'returned box'.

'Why hide the book, babe? I love this! Like, read it several times over, years ago.' I added while eyeing the book. I scanned through the pages, checking out the all too familiar pages. Till I reached the last page, there was a note written in legible writing.

B,

When I'm finally ready, I will find you. Hoping by then you will allow me to introduce myself again, for the first time.