Two Rejects

Chapter 4 - Going Rogue

The only person I talked to about Alpha Bren is Clara. So, when I walk through the pack and start getting pitiful looks from my members, I knew Bren told someone else. For a few days, everything seemed normal and okay. I avoided walking by the Pack House. I made sure to just go to my training sessions and socialize with my other friends who weren't a part of the Ceremony. Clara and everyone who graduated were being called into the Pack House to determine their futures in leadership and what they would be doing.

Every day after lessons or taking walks through the woods, Clara would find me. She'd smile and try to make me feel better. Bringing me cupcakes or cookies. She knows I love baked goods—they tend to remind me of my mom and dad—but it didn't matter what she would do...I was miserable.

Every morning, there's a pain in the pit of my stomach. My wolf cowering in the back of my mind. Sullen and depressed. Curled up into a ball like she's been caged in a zoo. I wish I could do something. I wish I could just disappear into the back of her mind and act like nothing else around me exists. But she doesn't even want to shift anymore.

I'm already having to battle with myself. I feel deflated and worthless. Clara and I used to dress up as princesses growing up. We couldn't wait to meet our price charming. Now I've supposedly met mine and he didn't care about the fact that the glass slipper fit perfectly on my foot. He might as well have tossed it into the trash.

I still feel a small pull towards Bren. Even though I've been avoiding him—it's unfortunately there like an itch I can't reach. It breaks me. Waking up in this pain and falling asleep with it. The only peace I seem to get is when I'm finally asleep but then the torment starts all over again.

I guess I wasn't good enough. He didn't give me a chance. He knows me...why wouldn't he at least try? Maybe I'm not pretty enough. No, that's stupid. I'm just weak. I'm not the strongest female in the pack. Despite not being the weakest, I'm just average. And if there's something I know about Bren it's that he always wants to overachieve. Just not with me by his side.

After a few days, I started getting the looks. Clara noticed first but didn't want to tell me. I can feel the looks on me when I'm walking to training or sitting in a classroom. I hear the whispers that go on from afar. Bren told someone because I know Clara would never.

"Mia," Clara says as we're on the way to our weekly pack dinner. It'll be the first time I'll see Bren since he rejected me. Every weekly dinner is accompanied by a speech from the Alpha.

My eyes are focused on the ground as we approach the dinner hall, "What's up?"

"We don't need to go to dinner tonight." Clara emphasizes. "We can go back to my place, watch some movies. Eat ice cream, I bought your favorite, double fudge brownie."

I shake my head, wishing the world would swallow me whole. My self-esteem has never felt so low. I feel like a hollow shell and no matter what, I'm never going to be fulfilled. It sounds so stupid to think. I thought I was better than this. Someone strong and confident because I'm smart and enthusiastic. I've now been reduced to a mate-less werewolf. A broken girl who just wants love.

Fuck...

Clara and I take our seats in the back. A few people walk by—looking directly at me. Then a few girls walk behind us. I recognize them instantly, my friends from our courses. The girl who beat me in the Ceremony, Olive, walks towards us. She licks her lip hesitantly, eyes meeting mine.

In a soft voice she mutters, "I'm sorry Mia."

I can't be angry. I can't get riled up. Even she seems to be scared. Rejections never happen. Especially with Alpha's. Any Luna's role is to make a pack stronger. It's to help the Alpha lead and be the best Alpha he can be. Rejections don't happen...at least that's what I believed.