Two Rejects

Chapter 11 - Muscle Memory

Alpha Matthew let me take some of the book's home, but we agreed I could come over the next day to start reading his sacred collection. The whole day I was eager to finish teaching and get through classes so I could finally go and read. There was something about being in his office that also made me feel at home.

I guess he already told his guards that I was coming because the moment they saw me, they gave me approving nods before letting me into the house. No one even tried to walk me to his office, I guess they just trusted that by now I know how to get there. Alpha Matthew was just handling paperwork and what looked like grading some homework. Part of me thinks he was happy to see me, but I quickly pushed that thought out of my head.

After some small conversation, he unlocks his shelf and lets me pick the first Royal book. Now, I'm sitting on Alpha Matthew's couch. While he's doing his Alpha duties, I'm curled up holding a giant book about the powers of our Moon Goddess. All information I had never thought I would ever know about. The book itself is gigantic and has all the feelings of being ancient. Not only does it look like it comes from a monastery, but it also has a literal radiate glow. It almost feels like it's vibrating with power. It's addicting.

There's one chapter that I read about how the Moon Goddess picks Beta females. It makes me sit up a bit straighter as I read about the intricate inner power that Beta females must possess in order to hold their rank. It only makes me respect Sage even more. In our werewolf society, everything is dominated by Alpha males and general testosterone. For her to be penetrating that glass ceiling makes me smile.

Every so often, I feel Matthew's eyes on me. I know he keeps glancing in my direction, but whenever I look up to meet his gaze, his eyes are already back down on his paperwork. Even though I haven't caught him, I can feel the intensity of his stare.

I flip through a few pages, until I gasp softly. This seems to catch Matthew's attention and he raises his eyebrow. "Alpha, you have to see this," I stand up and walk towards him. I don't think about it too much, but I decide to go behind his desk next to him. Leaning my butt on the edge of his desk while I face him and hold the giant book in my two hands.

He leans slightly back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. But I don't have much time to look at him. I'm too excited.

"There's some cryptic message in this chapter about mates." I tell him rather quickly. "After you read the general, mates are soulmates, eyes glaze over, they smell really good, yada-yada."

I roll my eyes and that seems to make him chuckle. If there's one thing we can bond over, it's our subtle hatred and longing for having a mate.

"But here," I point even though he can't see it. "It reads, 'It is not unheard of having a second chance. The forging of mates, although improbable, is possible. But only with the touch of the Moon.'"

"Do you know what this means?" I say excitingly. I finally look away from the pages and at Matthew. His eyes have darkened over, gaze staring hard at my lower half that is practically sitting on his desk. It doesn't occur to me that he might be angry at me casually being this close to him. His eyes move up my body until they rest on my face.

I stammer a quick, "Sorry" and maneuver my way around the table so I'm sitting across from him. Trying to get back on track, I leave the book open on his desk on the page. "Do you know what this means though?"

His eyes turn back to green, head cocking to the side. For a few seconds he stares at me before turning his attention to the book. Looking down, he shrugs his shoulders. "I wouldn't get your hopes up, Mia. These books are cryptic and incessantly ancient."

"Really?" My hopes do actually sink down slightly. I try not to let the fact that Bren rejected me get to me here. Part of me is incredibly happy I didn't end up with that immature prick. But the other side of me is still getting over the grief of losing a mate. The grief of losing the idea of a mate. I won't ever have the unconditional love that is supposed to come with having a mate.