When Kat Came Back

Chapter 29

Ashlynn felt better in the morning. The sun was out, the leaves outside her window were a golden and red colour and the sky was blue.

She very carefully got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to get ready for school.

Once dressed, she made her way downstairs.

"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" Patricia asked Ashlynn.

Ashlynn stared at Patricia who couldn't quite read the look on Ashlynn's face. She didn't look mad, she didn't look upset. She looked like she was struggling with something. Ashlynn sighed.

"I slept alright, thanks," she replied.

Patricia had brought Ashlynn some dinner after she'd been asleep for a few hours. She'd had to wake her up, but Ashlynn seemed alright with it. Patricia had sat with Ashlynn while she ate off the bed tray Patricia had used with all the kids when they were home sick. The painted cartoon characters had mostly all chipped off. Patricia thought she could make out the foot of a Smurf and wondered if Ashlynn knew who the Smurfs were.

Ashlynn didn't say much about her day at school. She didn't completely hate her teachers, no, she didn't think she made any friends. No, Jonah doesn't count, she still didn't know about homework.

After Ashlynn finished her dinner, Patricia helped her up to get ready for bed, and Ashlynn let her help her more this time.

Patricia helped Ashlynn into bed, gave her a couple more Advil and left a glass of water for her.

"Good night, sweetheart," Patricia said. "I really am glad you're home."

"Good night, m-," Ashlynn stopped just short of calling Patricia 'Mom'. Patricia smiled. She wouldn't say anything. Not yet. Ashlynn needed to be comfortable calling Patricia 'Mom'. She'd waited 15 years to see her daughter again. She could wait until she felt comfortable calling her 'Mom'.

Patricia kissed her on the forehead and tucked the blanket around her.

"Want the light on?" She asked.

"Just the lamp. I'm going to read a bit," Ashlynn said.

"Okay. Not too late, okay?"

Ashlynn nodded. Patricia closed the door.

Now, again this morning, Ashlynn struggled internally. Patricia held her tongue.

"Good. What time did you turn out your light?" Patricia asked.

"Uh- around ten, I think?" Ashlynn said.

It had been 9:45. Patricia had closed her daughter's door and slid down the opposite wall, just exhausted by putting up this facade of being okay with Ashlynn not wanting to call her 'Mom'. She'd been robbed of her daughter 15 years ago. And she still felt like she didn't have her back. Not yet.

Patricia knew she couldn't force Ashlynn to call her Mom, but she wanted it so badly. She was angry that another woman heard Ashlynn call her 'mama'. And that that woman made her daughter's life miserable. All of Kat's milestones had been stolen from Patricia. And so had Ashlynn's.

So, like she did with the older three, when they were babies and sleep training. Or when she just wanted to be near the children, she'd sit outside their rooms and just listen to the sounds of her children growing. The mobiles, noise machines and CDs of lullabies and classical music. To the sounds of radios or stereos playing music on low volume. Then the portable cassette players. How many times had Patricia untangled one of her children from the headphones?

But after Kat went missing, the house was silent at night. There were no lullabies played in Kat's room. The older three kept their headphones on and listened to music quietly, so Mom wouldn't come in and yell at them about destroying their hearing.