When Kat Came Back

Chapter 48

Ashlynn didn't come down for dinner. Patricia went upstairs to see if she was hungry, and found Ash fast asleep on her bed. She sighed, covered her little girl with her quilt and kissed her head. Ashlynn frowned a little in her sleep, but otherwise didn't move.

Patricia had a light dinner, took hers and Ashlynn's laundry from the trip and threw it all in the washing machine. By the time she was ready for bed, exhaustion threatened to take over.

She checked on Ashlynn one more time, saw she was still asleep, and went into her own room. She felt so defeated. She couldn't get Ashlynn to open up and talk about what happened. Patricia just really hoped her therapist could get her to talk.

After doing her bedtime routine and changing into her pyjamas, Patricia felt compelled to check on Ashlynn again. She quietly walked down the hallway and opened Ashlynn's door. The light from the hallway fell across Ashlynn's face as she'd turned over and was on her back now. There was a frown on Ashlynn's face as she slept. Patricia watched her daughter sleep for a little while and saw she wasn't sleeping soundly. She was starting to groan and Patricia went in and sat down on Ashlynn's bed, lightly shaking her shoulder.

Ashlynn's eyes flew open and she looked at Patricia. Fear crossed her face first. Then she relaxed a little.

"I just came to check on you before I went to sleep and it looked like you were having a nightmare. I wanted to wake you before it got bad. Are you okay?"

Ashlynn nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it? Tell me what has you so scared," Patricia said, stroking Ashlynn's cheek with the back of her hand. Ashlynn stiffened and moved away from Patricia a little. Patricia removed her hand and smiled sadly at her daughter.

Ashlynn shook her head and rolled over onto her side with her back to Patricia. Patricia sighed, tucked a stray hair behind Ashlynn's ear and said good night to her daughter. Ashlynn didn't respond. Patricia hadn't really expected her to.

Patricia got into her bed and fell into a somewhat fitful sleep.  Thoughts plagued her sleep. What had happened to Ashlynn, just as she was settling in at home and occasionally going with Patrick to talk about coming home just devastated Patricia. Ashlynn was making friends at school. She was connecting with her father.

Patricia sighed and rolled over when her alarm went off in the morning. Should she send Ashlynn to school? Should she let her stay home?   Patricia brushed her teeth and contemplated her choices. And Ashlynn's choices.

Once she was dressed, Patricia went to Ashlynn's room to get her up and ready for school. She knocked on the door, waited a moment and then and then announced that she was going in. Ashlynn wasn't in bed. Patricia heard the toilet flush and the water start running and knew Ashlynn was at least awake.

"Ash, I'm going to go make breakfast, okay?" Patricia called out. She didn't expect a response but Ashlynn did stick her hand out if her bathroom and gave a thumbs up. She may not be speaking, but at least she was communicating.

Patricia went downstairs and started making breakfast for Ashlynn. She didn't eat a lot in the morning, so Patricia knew a full breakfast would go to waste. She fried up an egg and made some toast.  By the time Ashlynn came downstairs, Patricia was done cooking and had breakfast in the table.

"Tea or coffee?" Patricia asked Ashlynn.  Ashlynn went to the fridge and pulled out orange juice and poured herself a glass. She held it out to Patricia as if asking her if she wanted some.

"No thanks, sweetheart," she smiled. "I need my coffee."

Ashlynn put the juice back in the fridge and sat down at the table. She pushed the egg around on her plate but didn't eat anything.

"Do you want butter or salt or ketchup or anything?" Patricia asked. Ashlyn shook her head and kept her eyes downcast and continued pushing the egg around her plate.

"Ash, eat up. We have to leave soon,"

Ash scraped her egg onto the two slices of toast and made a sandwich. She drank down her juice, wrapped the sandwich in a piece of waxed paper and cleared her plate. 

Patricia sighed again.

"Alright," she said, as Ashlynn picked up her backpack. "Let's get you to school then.  You've got an appointment after school with your therapist."

Ashlynn didn't react. She just leaned against the door, waiting for Patricia to put on her jacket.

"Oh. And we have to take you shopping for a new winter coat since your old one was cut off."

Ashlynn didn't react, really. But Patricia thought she saw just the slightest cringe from Ashlynn.

"Okay. Ready? Let's go."

The drive to the high school wasn't long and didn't give Patricia a lot of time to try to get through to Ashlynn, but she did try. Ashlynn didn't react. She didn't answer a single question. Not even with a nod or shake of her head.

As they pulled up to the school, Ashlynn started getting her bag ready to leave the car. Patricia took Ashlynn's arm lightly. Ashlynn looked at her mother.

"Ash, I know what happened in New York has upset you and it's why you aren't talking. But sweetheart, it's okay. We don't blame you. It wasn't your fault, honey. What happened was horrible, I know. And I'm sure you're upset, confused maybe. And maybe even angry. And that's okay. But we want to help you, Ash. We want to help you cope with what happened. Please, honey. Please talk to me," tears fell from Patricia's eyes.

Ashlynn looked at her mother, sighed and shook her head.

She grabbed her bag, opened the door and pulled her arm from Patricia's light grasp.

She wouldn't talk about it. She couldn't. It was her fault, what had happened. She hadn't been careful. And she'd gone wandering around a city alone. She shouldn't have left the hotel. She should have let Patrick come with her. She should have told Patrick how she'd been feeling about the press and stuff.

But she hadn't. She'd gone out into a city she didn't know well, alone. And let herself get attacked, raped and stabbed.

She knew she'd almost died and wondered if she shouldn't have.

Ashlynn had all these thoughts running through her mind, she didn't see Jonah waiting for her and walked right by him.