It's Okay

Chapter 15

It felt like an eternity has passed. But at the same time everything passed so fast. I basically didn't move from the couch at all, the whole day. And now it was already dark outside. I just stared at the ceiling. And I thought about everything. It was to much. I couldn't take it. I couldn't move. I felt so shitty, besides the fact I was hungover.

My phone ringed. Again. I assumed it was Ryu, but i didnt answer. But as I did took a quick glance over to it, I saw a message pop up in that exact moment. To be specific it was a picture. I froze.

I quickly grabbed my phone to clearly see the picture. I guess i was hoping I didn't see it correctly. But I did. And this was my end. Fuck. How was this possible??

I just stared at the screen for several minutes. Maybe even longer. I had no feeling of time anymore. My whole world just crushed.

When I was finally able to remember the place and time I looked where the picture came from.

Class group chat. Impossible. No! No this wasn't happening right now.

I read through the messages saying I was gay. All of them seemed to find it funny. Someone even said "Come on guys, let the man kiss his homie". How dare she. She was the one who made us kiss in the first place. I wanted to insult her so bad. But i couldn't I couldn't just insult a lady, not matter how mad i was. I knew it was probably meant as a joke, but it was still the end of the world for me right now. Also I couldn't move a single finger.

Wait Where did they get that picture from? Who took it? Did they send it to anyone else? I quickly checked all my social media if someone posted that picture or if I got any messages.

I did.

Someone did post it.

It was on Instagram. It was the girl that made us kiss. She apparently took the picture. And then she posted it. Showing my lips on the ones of my best bro. A man. The caption said "A manly kiss, how romantic!" I have never felt such anger ever in my life. Of course she used emojis that would make it obvious it was a joke, but the picture still showed us kissing.

And the comments weren't as nice and joking as the class chat. This comments were full of people saying how disgusting this was. They weren't too bad, just not really nice. The bad comments were in my DMs. People called me disgusting and called me slurs. Some even said i didn't deserve to live. I was furious. How could people say such things?

I also got some positive DMs, saying how brave I was for coming out and all that. I told them that it was a game at a party. Still, the negative comments always get remembered, not the positive ones.

I could never go back. Never.

I just turned off my phone. I couldn't take any more comments. Neither positive nor negative ones. Just nothing. I didn't want to see anyone ever again.

I knew I had to go to school. I knew I had to go home because it was pretty late. I knew it, but I couldn't move. Not at all. My grandpa asked me about it but I didn't answer him. Even talking was to much. I think he got it, because he then carried me to my bed and told me he would tell my school I wouldn't come.

I did not deserve him. I did not deserve anyone. Whenever someone did something great for me, I could never return it. I just always got them in trouble. With everything I did. He would have to explain it to my parents now why I was drunk and argue with them. Ryu would have to explain the kiss to everyone. Asahi had to avoid me and always be careful to not run into me. My parents would fight just this minute, just because i was such a brat and didn't come home.

I wanted to disappear. Forever. I knew it wouldn't fix any problems, but then I didn't have to deal with them anymore. And I couldn't take all this anymore. I can't. I just can't.