It's Okay

Chapter 25

*POV Noya*

Hospital was so boring. I knew it was my own fault, but I didn't plan on going to the hospital. I was kinda glad I survived though. Because when Ryu visited me I could see the stress in his eyes. I knew how much he loved me. I felt so bad. I wanted to leave him alone. I couldn't even think about how he'd react if I actually died.

And I also couldn't tell him the truth so I lied. Well I didn't actually lie, I just left out the part of me taking those meds to kill myself.

I tried acting all happy and normal when he visited me. I didn't want him to worry even more about me. I also acted all happy around the nurses. They can't know I tried to kill myself. They'd send me to a psych ward.

After some days I got send home. I guess my little act was good enough. When I got home my parents were still annoying. We got in fights even more often now. One could think after they accepted their mistake they'd actually be sorry and make up for it. But no.

They didn't even accept it as their mistake. They blamed me instead. Of course they did. I didn't explain it well enough before. They didn't even consider the fact they never listened to me. But they still didn't, so it didn't matter for them. I guess it was a one time thing and only because I was dying.

Maybe I had to die again so they'd listen to me.

I wasn't any better. I didn't regret taking those meds. I was glad I survived, but only because I felt bad for Ryu.

I wanted to practice again. The nurses told me to not do it for at least 2 more weeks. But I couldn't wait. Of course I didn't want to overdo it so I'd never be able to play again or something, but I definitely couldn't sit still.

So I started running around the neighborhood. I even saw one of the women of the team I was playing with sometimes. They asked what happened and I told them I could join them in 2 weeks.

Until then I had to practice so that no one could see me. It wasn't big of a problem though. I bet my parents didn't even know I wasn't allowed to practice.

Today my parents told me I had to go shopping with them. Well actually they wanted me to carry their bags. Of course, whatever.

I just held all the things she gave me and didn't even look where I was going. Until I spotted someone familiar.

N: "Asahi! Wait no!"

Of course he immediately started going in the other direction. Would he avoid me for the rest of our life's? Why..

N: "You can't keep running away from me!"

But he did. I wanted to run after him but I was still carrying the bags so I couldn't.

When I turned around my parents looked furious.

M: "Was that a friend?"

N: "Uhm yea... Kinda"

My mom smiled nice. I knew it wasn't honest. It was definitely only there because we were in public and she wanted to be a perfect mother for people around so she couldn't yell at me.

Why was she mad now?

The rest of the shopping trip was weird. My mom was quiet. But it was this dangerous type of quiet. And there was this tension between us. I felt like everyone around us could feel it.

As we got home I wanted to put away the things we bought.