"I've had darker nights without you"
- a boy who's hanging on by a single thread
"Then let me be your light"
- a boy who is that single thread
Felix was known to be in a dark place, his mind and heart playing tricks on him on a daily basis. He could...
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~〄~
Felix woke up once again, but this time more calm and exhausted than in panic
Oh how much he wanted to erase yesterday as a whole from existence
He wanted to take back all he did and said that day and night
He wanted to reset that day and shut his mouth before he said what he did
He wanted to mend his family's relationship but he knew it wasn't possible
He wished he didn't cry like that infront of Hyunjin, although that wasn't his worst crying episode infront of the male
He knew that Hyunjin would be there to comfort him if he cried but he felt guilt for showing him that side of himself
He rolled around in his bed to face Hyunjin from across the room
He squinted his eyes and saw the male putting his shirt on as he mumbled words to himself
"Hyunjin?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes as the blurry vision started to fade
Hyunjin turned around and pulled his shirt down, smiling at the half asleep male in bed
"You're awake, finally" He said, walking to the male as he sat down on the side of his bed
Felix rolled and layed on his back, shielding his eyes from the light as he smiled at the male
"How are you?" Felix asked, smiling at the male as the light shined behind him, making him look like a glowing angel
"I'm ok but how are you? You had a rough night last night" Hyunjin said, looking down at his phone
"I'm ok now. Sorry for crying like a bitch earlier on" Felix laughed, sitting up as he yawned and slouched
"Don't be sorry. Everyone has to let their emotions pour out sometimes" Hyunjin replied
He layed his hand on top of Felix's hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb
"Yeah but you're always the one who has to watch me cry. It isn't fair to you"
"But that's my choice. I chose to become your friend and I chose to be there for you at your highest and lowest. I did it all because I love you"
Felix felt his heart stop for a second or two, his mind still trying to process what he just heard
He knew Hyunjin didn't mean it like that, he knew he meant it in a friendly way
Did it make his heart skip a beat though? Yes. But did it hurt him at the same time? Also yes
Hyunjin meant it. He really did choose to be there for Felix, it was fully his choice that didn't come with any sort of pressure
He knew that he was the only one who could help Felix through everything, it was his own everyday job
But did he really mean the rest? The part where he said he loved Felix? Yes, he did
Even though he still had his emotions all over the place, he knew one thing for sure. Whatever he felt for Felix was strong
His day would suddenly become better whenever the male mentioned was in sight, like he was a happy pill
But did that mean he was in love? Absolutely not. In his mind, it was perfectly okay to feel this way for a friend
It was perfectly fine to look at a friend the way he looks at Felix. It was perfectly okay to think of him like the way he does
It was perfectly fine to want to kiss him at times. But was he in love? No. Did he still believe they were only friends? Yes
"What happened to your cheek?" He asked, his hand cupping the male's cheek as his finger grazed the scar
Felix slightly panicked for a split second, at a loss for words when he could not think of any lie
"My sister's cat scratched me"
"Olivia doesn't have a cat"
"I have two sisters, Hyunjin"
"Rachel is allergic"
Felix slightly panicked and considered telling Hyunjin the truth but decided to try lie once more
"My mom got them a cat and it scratched me" he lied, gently holding the male's hand as he slid it off of his face
"Stop lying to me" Hyunjin told Felix, holding the male's hand as he kept the eye contact
Felix could not think of anymore lies so he decided to try to change the subject
"Where are you headed?" He asked, looking the male up and down as he examined his outfit
It was a simple long sleeved white shirt paired with baggy blue denim jeans. He wore the bracelet Felix gifted him four years ago and the matching ring he gifted Felix three years ago. Also white and blue nike airforces
"Answer my question first" Hyunjin insisted, lifting the male's head back up with his finger under Felix's chin
"I'll tell you later, I promise. Anyways, where are you going?" He changed the subject once again, laying back down
"I'm off to see Karina" He replied, fiddling with the ring on his finger
If there was one thing that could bring Felix's mood down in a flash, it was the mention of that female
He couldn't help but feel a negative feeling towards her for a reason he himself didn't know
He never really had a problem with her until her and Hyunjin started hanging out for some reason
He tried his best to stuff this feeling in the back of his throat but it wasn't working, he felt somewhat jealous
Jealous of? Even he didn't know
"Oh...ok. Have fun" He said, forcing on a smile as he felt something in his chest ache
"Thank you. Take care" He said, standing up as he grabbed his phone and walked to the door
He waved goodbye and left the room, closing the door behind him as he walked through the lounge
As soon as he closed the front door, he was met with the female right infront of him
"Karina, why are you here already?" He said, walking beside the female as she smiled at him
"I thought I'd get you from your dorm" She replied, smiling at him as she hooked h8s arm with his
They walked through the corridors and to the front desk, greeting the lady as they walked past her
Felix layed in his best in silence as tears rolled down the sides of his face
"Fuck you Hwang...why don't you want to hang out with me instead?"
~〄~
Fun fact that also isn't fun,I'm literally so tiredI might just drop dead but it's all good
