MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!! I might be gone for the rest of the week so if I don't update then, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS!!
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"Are you alright sir?" The woman asked, cutting the ends of thread used to stitch Hyunjin's wound
"I'm fine...thank you for asking" He grunted, squeezing his eyes shut as he gently held Felix's hand, afraid of hurting the male if he squeezed it
The woman proceeded to finish the job, patching him up and securing the wound, letting out a sigh as she set her equipment aside once she was done
The woman left the room, leaving the job of sorting and cleaning the instruments used to the nurse
"Are you sure you're ok?" Felix asked, caressing the back of the male's hand with his thumb
"Yeah. I was just taken by surprise. I didn't think it was that deep" Hyunjin replied, letting out a little laugh to lighten the mood
"Once again, I'm so sorry Hyunjin" Felix apologized, a frown on his face as all he felt was guilt
"Don't be. You weren't in your right mind and I deserved it" He said, sitting up as his legs dangled on the edge of the bed, now both of his hands being held by the shorter male infront of him
"Still doesn't justify anything. I fucking cut yo—"
"I suggest we don't speak about that here" Hyunjin interrupted the male, his head nodding to the present nurse behind him
The nurse turned around, feeling a bit awkward as Felix's gaze shifted back to Hyunjin
"I should leave and give you two some space" She spoke, giving the two a quick bow before she awkwardly made her way out
They both let out a breath they didn't know they were holding once the door shut and left them two alone in the room
Hyunjin looked back at Felix as he heard sniffling from the male, his eyes growing sad as he watched the male wipe away falling tears
"It's okay Felix, honestly" Hyunjin spoke with a gentle smile, letting his hand rest on the male's thigh as his thumb caressed it softly
"And honestly, you shouldn't be apologizing. I should"
Felix lifted his head with semi wide eyes, letting out a small "Huh?" As he wiped the bottom of his nose
Hyunjin took a deep breath and held Felix's hands once again, keeping his gaze on them as he began to speak
"I'm so sorry Felix. I just...I fucked up so bad and I'm still surprised that you're here with me, even after all I've done to you
Truth is, I've loved you for such a long time now. Even if I couldn't put a label on it at that time, there was still a strong feeling that I had for you
It was what drove me to take care of you. When I don't take care for myself, it's out of choice because I'd rather spend time making sure you're okay than giving a fuck about myself
Reason being that my body isn't the reason I'm alive, nor are my lungs or my heart, but you are
But I fucked all of that up. I was so love sick over someone I knew I didn't really feel anything for
I needed a distraction. I needed to distance myself from you because I was so afraid that I'd show my true colors and I'd drive you away
I have driven so many people away with...myself, not just the way I act but just me
At one point I lost everyone in my life because...because I couldn't control my emotions and I just...I was alone"
At this point in time, Hyunjin was in tears, trying his best not to act weak but as he said, he struggled to control his emotions
"Why...why don't you ever open up to me?" Felix asked, feeling a painful pang in his chest as he heard the male choke on his tears
"I didn't...I didn't wanna show you that I need help because honestly...you have it worse and...I wanna be there for you" He said, now digging his nails into his thighs
"But Hyunjin, I don't want you feeling like your only role in our friendship is a therapist. I wanna live knowing that we can tell eachother anything without having to hide any details
It fucks with my brain, everything about me messes me up and the only way I can get that off my chest is telling you
You're fucked up...just as fucked up as I am and it fucks me up even more only just finding out about that now
I'm just as afraid of losing you as you are of losing me. I don't want my big mouth and my even bigger problems being the reason I lose you"
"I drove you to madness, Felix. There's no way in hell that I'm gonna open up" Hyunjin said, shaking his head as he layed back down on the hospital bed
"You didn't. I've always been out of my mind, you were the one who made me forget about it all" Felix said, looking Hyunjin in the eyes with eyes filled with reason
Those eyes. The only eyes Hyunjin could find peace in. The eyes he fell in love with. The eyes of someone he viewed an an angel
It didnt take any words for Felix to understand what Hyunjin's eyes alone told him. He lifted himself off of his chair and gently climbed onto the side of the hospital bed, laying on his side beside the male
Hyunjin turned on his side, resting his forehead against Felix's chest as the male let his fingers explore Hyunjin's hair
He let his leg rest over Hyunjin's thigh as his other hand rested on the side of Hyunjin's neck, his thumb caressing his skin as Hyunjin's hand rested on the male's waist
"I love you so much Felix, but damn, you cut me deep" Hyunjin sighed, letting out a breathy chuckle as he looked down at the bandage on the arm that rested on Felix's hip
"Let's not speak about that, we have better things to talk about" Felix said, sighing as his hand moved from Hyunjin's neck to the side of his face
"Like?" Hyunjin asked, melting into the male's touch as he shut his eyes and hummed at the male's fingers stroking his hair
Hyunjin had opened his eyes, instantly locking them with Felix's comforting eyes. Unknowingly his face inched closer to Felix's, the gap between their noses starting to close up
Just as Hyunjin was about to make a move, the door swung open
"HYUNJIN! THE FUCK HAPPENED?!"
><▪︎><
I was planning on ending the story right here but I feel like I can do more with it
Any predictions for whats gonna happen next??
Love you!!
YOU ARE READING
𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿 | 𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝘅
Fanfiction"I've had darker nights without you" - a boy who's hanging on by a single thread "Then let me be your light" - a boy who is that single thread Felix was known to be in a dark place, his mind and heart playing tricks on him on a daily basis. He could...
