𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿 | 𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝘅

part 16

It had been a day since Hyunjin had seen Felix, a day since the argument in which he messed everything up and hours since Karina had broken up with him

It was an understated to say that Hyunjin felt bad. He felts horrible

He regretted every word he said to Felix. He regretted seing Felix cry and yell because of him

And Minho yelling at him only enlightened him more on the situation

He had a reason to hate himself. The reason being that he was the reason Felix relapsed

He thought he was Felix's survival weapon. He thought he was Felix's reason

He thought that he was Felix's rainbow. But in the end, he realized that he was only the downpour before the rainbow

If there were four word to explain their relationship, it would be 'like a light bulb'

The more energy goes into the lightbulb, the brighter it gets. The more time Hyunjin spent with Felix, the happier he got

But the more you use that light energy, the more the chances of the light burning out enhances

I'm sure you can figure that one out by yourself but to put it simply, Felix wasn't burning himself out, Hyunjin was

And the second Hyunjin came to that realization, his world turned dark

All lights out, leaving him to dwell in unending darkness. If the sun can't light up space with as much light it has, Hyunjin can't be happy even if he had everything he wanted

Because all he needed was Felix. It was foolish of him to say such, was the inner man in him not speaking loud enough?

He should've just listened. Not only to the tiny Hyunjin within him but to Felix himself

How many times had he ignored Felix's concerns and clear signs of defeat? More than you can count

But one thing that he hated was that he was always late to these realizations

"I...I fucked up so bad" He cried, tugging at his hair as he watched his tears fall on his lap

He was sat up in his bed, his back hunched over as he let out slightly hushed cries

He knew that he could not be forgiven but the things he'd give up just to apologize to his sunshine cannot be counted

In truth, he had been in love with Felix for longer than he knew

All his life his parents had taught him that homo-sexuality was for I'll minded people and people with no reason

So Hyunjin had grown up knowing to never act in such away because then he would be the black sheep of the family

He had fallen in love with Felix but he didn't know. All this time he thought Karina was the one when she was not

Hyunjin always knew that there was a specific way to describe the way he felt about Felix but even he didn't know what it was

He knew his feelings for him were strong but he denied the feeling being love

Felix had always been his number one, his reason to wake up, his reason to eat, his reason to do his hair in the morning, his reason to be alive

Felix had always been Hyunjin's center piece or you could say missing puzzle piece

Much like how life starts for babies once they take their first steps, life seemed to start for Hyunjin once he encountered Felix

Never had it been dark with the smaller male around, never had be been bored if the male was around

Never had he ever had low self-esteem. Why? Become of his sunshine, his one and only, his reason, the one who got away, Felix

Regret. He regretted shitting on him like that, making him feel worthless, unloved, and unworthy of life

But most of all, he regretted meeting the male

Ever since a young age, Hyunjin had always been aware of his emotions, obviously except for love

He knew his limits, he knew when it and just started, he knew his triggers he knew it all

But one thing he knew and hated most about himself if his energy

He's a warm guy, good company, flirtatious, fun, a mood maker

But with those good aspects comes downsides

One thing he didn't know how to control was his words

Minho was speaking nothing but the truth. Hyunjin had a terrible habit of taking his anger out on people just because he can't handle it

It was a one way ticket to driving people away. But it never drove Felix away...at that time

The second he started getting close to Felix, he made an oath to himself that he wouldn't get too close or else he'd get comfortable with the male and show him his emotions

He tried his best not to get mad around the male because he knew what was to come. All his hardworking went to way on that morning

Once again, his fear haunted him. He drove his angel away

But he knew it could never be. He knew that the opposites attract principle would never work out for them

They were as different as heaven and hell. The chances of them actually working out was like the chances of the devil becoming an angel once again

Impossible unless they put some effort

But all that effort came to waste when Hyunjin uttered those heart shattering words. He missed his chance

It was eating him the inside. Guilt and regret being the only devils on his shoulders, no upside to be the angel

To put it simply, he acknowledged that he had fucked up BEYOND repair

All those tears had worn the male out. He layed back in his bed and stared at the ceiling

The shadow of a dead tree sticking onto the ceiling as the moon lit it up

He closed his eyes, slowly drifting into dreamland, a land that would give him peace in all of this pain

He was completely out, so gone that he didn't hear the door to the room open

His muscles relaxed, his mind eased up, his breathing becoming slower, the veins on his neck...bulging?

He hurt faint cries as comfort of his face, like a pillow weighing on his skin

"I'm so sorry Hyunjin...but you left me know choice"

This wasn't peace

He was being suffocated

He grabbed nearest object he could reach, being a thick book he had sitting on his bedside table

With a swing from the side, he hit a hard and hairy surface, causing whatever was on top of him to stumble and fall off of his bed

He jolted up, throwing the pillow to the side, his eyes only growing wide as they layed on the dark haired male in tears

"F...Felix?"

><▪︎><

I wish I were a baby bird and nit succeed on my first flying lesson...

How are we feeling about the plot rn??

Who do we feel bad for??

Also, please read 'Reconnecting...' It's one of my newest stories and it's honestly really funny and more of a comfort story. Don't let me down you pretty ass rats 😻😻😻

I love YOU!