A month later
It had been a month since Karina and Hyunjin had broken up
It had been a month since Felix last had his mental breakdown
It had been a month since Felix last self-harmed
It had been a month since Hyunjin's arm had been cut open
It had been a month since Hyunjin and Felix confessed their love for eachother
It had been a month since Hyunjin asked Felix to be his boyfriend
It had been a month since Felix accepted the request
Life was finally going the way Felix wanted it to go. He finally had his life support to himself. He finally had his reason to himself
The male that showed him love like none other. The male who showed that he cared more than anyone else
He had all he wanted. He had Hyunjin
When the clock his midnight, Felix found himself on the lawn just infront of the dorm building, laying on the grass as he surrounded himself with complete nothingness
He took a deep breath, taking in all the night had to offer as he stared mindlessly at the wide navy sky
The stars flickered in their ocean, catching his gaze and holding it so gently, letting his stress fly away with the birds after their long day shift. He couldn't look away
The moon shone on the area like a spotlight on stage, brightening up all that was lost in the dark when the sun retreated and rested in the comforts of space
The leaves on every scattered tree waltzed with the wind while it whistled a lullaby for every sleeping person and creature
His fingers entangled themselves in the earth's mane, fingertips pushing against the soil under it when he felt a connection with the earth
His head swiftly turned to the right, eyes catching sight of a lone dandelion
He watched as the stem swayed from side to side, the curves and arches forming as the wind lead it through a night dance
The head lolled to the side, the contents of it daring to scatter with the wind as it rolled and bobbed
He stretched out a determined hand as it momentarily hovered over the flower, sl gentle, so fragile, as if he'd ruin it with a single touch
He gently reached for the stem, using as much gentle strength he had to pluck it from its roots
It had been one of those nights where Felix was open to any suggestions or possibilities, where he was easy to take advantage of
Those nights where his brain was swapped out with a molded block of earth, no those behind his eyes, just orbs that saw things nobody else could see
His body being the only sense of wisdom, his only source of guidance being his instincts as his wisdom faded with the thoughts he would have in the past
As crazy as it might have sounded, he felt himself slip away as the tips of his fingers touched on the soil
Like he had become the earth. He had become mindless, peaceful, he felt serenity in a way he couldnt describe
He felt nothing. He was nothing. He wished for nothing. He gave nothing and for that, he expected to have nothing in return
His mind, body and soul rid of any feelings, emotions, thoughts. Only feeling was way beneath his fingers. Only feeling what was between his fingers
In a way, Felix related to the dandelion in a way others would find concerning, odd, weird, different
It was so so gentle, so fragile, so meaningful yet it meant nothing to itself, just like Felix
It was used to make wishes against its will, pressure of ensuring some person's deepest desire being put on it, just like Felix
Used for what it had on the outside, never had anyone consider how it felt, being plucked from its roots, just like Felix
But he also sinned against it. He plucked it from its roots, readying it for something it expected but he never ended up doing
Readying it for its usage for a wish, readying it for the end of its life. Preparing it for it to give away all it had to fulfill a wish it knew it couldn't
Something he could relate to aswell. He harmed the dandelion, just like how he'd harmed himself a month ago
A month ago
A span of time so short yet so impactful for the poor boy
Thirty days and thirty one nights that help the truth of the purpose of life
It held pain, betrayal, ill intentions, unknown mental stability, arguments, harm, tears, laughs, hugs, kisses, sex, heartbroken and love
It had been a month since Felix finally felt comfortable in his own skin
A month since he fell in love with someone he'd thought would never see what they had
It had been a month
A month
"Felix?" He heard a voice call his name from behind him
He quickly snapped out of his thoughts, ripping his hands away from both the ground and the dandelion
"Huh? What's up?" He replied, looking confused as he stood up
Hyunjin only put on a gentle smile and walked forward, pulling the male into a hug as he dug his fingers in the male's hair
"You worried me. I thought someone stole you" Hyunjin said before he let out an breathy chuckle
Felix stared blankly at the building not too far away from them, just ahead of him, as he let out a mindless "oh"
Hyunjin pulled away from the male and frowned as he brushed the the hair that fell over Felix's eyes to the back
"Are you okay?" He asked, planting a light kiss on the male's forehead
Felix simply nodded and wrapped his arms around the male, pressing his his forehead against the male's chest as he let out a deep sigh
"Are you sure?" Hyunjin asked once again, rubbing comforting circles on the male's back as he muzzled his nose into the male's
Complete silence, just the sound of the wind washing past them and Felix's steady breaths
"It's been a month Hyunnie...I made it through another month"
A tear
Another tear
He cried.
It had been a month
><▪︎><
This is by far my favorite chapter in this whole story, I cried while writing it
Also, HAPPY NEW YEARS IN ADVANCE <3
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𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿 | 𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝘅
Fanfiction"I've had darker nights without you" - a boy who's hanging on by a single thread "Then let me be your light" - a boy who is that single thread Felix was known to be in a dark place, his mind and heart playing tricks on him on a daily basis. He could...
