The Other Biersack [COMPLETED]

Chapter 19- My Demons

NOTE: THis chapter is on a sensitive subject. So if this at all is going to be triggering to you. DO NOT READ IT. I want to keep you guys safe. You have been warned.
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JANES POV*
*3 MONTHS LATER*

I threw my bag on the floor and fell onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling with tears stinging my eyes. I blinked a few times to keep them down.

No. I thought. No I'm not going to cry I'm not going to let myself feel like that.

But I have to. I need to, I mean I have my reasons. I just found out Tric moved to fuckig Florida for god knows why, and Josh has been avoiding me. He's been distant, quiet, and just plan weird. He's not with me when I need him the most.

I need him.

Catlin has been abusing me through these 3 months. It's not like last time where it was every other day, it's every single day now. It's physically and verbally, pushing, knocking my books over, spitting on me, pulling my hair, and so much more.

Josh has done nothing. Nothing. He didn't want me to get hurt, he said. Ever since that talk we've had about 3 months ago, he's never near me. He always is, but now, he's not the same. He watches me get hurt. He hasn't explained himself either. What a great friend. I guess my feelings for him are a mistake.

I'm so stupid.

Suddenly, my phone vibrates. I picked it up and checked the text message.

'Go die!' It read. My phone goes off again. 'Freak,' 'Cut yourself,' on and on my phone goes.

How the hell did she get my phone number?

What ever, it doesn't matter. Nothing does any more. I'm alone with no friends, Andy never notices my bruises or scratches that I come home with every day, I have nobody.

I'm empty.

I got up and wiped the tears that escaped my eyes while I walked to the bathroom locking it.

I looked in the mirror and what I saw, wasn't me. I had a light bruise on the left side of my eye, a little scar above my eyebrow, my different skin from Derek, scratches on my neck and chest, a bloody lip from today, and a bruise on my cheek. How has Andy not noticed yet?

I moved my hair and turned my head getting better views of my face. Just then Catlin's words from these past 2 to 3 months circle in my head.

'Freak,' 'experiment gone wrong,' 'scar face,' 'go die,' 'emo cunt,' 'go cut,' 'I bet you give the band blow jobs,' 'no one will love you,' 'ugly,' 'I'm glad your parents are dead,' 'waste of space.'

There's so much more but, you get the picture.

Her words got louder and louder in my head until they were screaming. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to get her voice out of my head. I screamed.

"Shut up shut up shut up!!"

I then punched the mirror. It shattered and broken pieces fell off. Some on the sink or around my feet on the floor.

I looked at my knuckles to see them cut up.

"Shit" I whispered. I looked back at the mirror and saw bits of me in the parts that were still there. For a split second I swear I could see Catlin laughing at me only to fade away.

She is right, I am ugly. I'm just a waste of space. Who could love me?

I opened the mirror slowly and grabbed one of Andy's razors off the self. I closed it and more shards of glass fell.