xxiv

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"She's really gone huh?"Ash asked, snapping me out of my thoughts " it's not your fault Bird, your grandmother was not the only one to catch the disease,so don't blame yourself",she said.

She was right the pneumonia spread through the senior home like a wild fight, leaving behind devastated families.
Many people were suing the home for their negligence and for having an incompetent institute doctor.

"Yeah",I said and continued to pack some of her stuff.

"Do you guys need any help?", Ash's mother asked.

" No thanks mom,we are almost done here you can take Merce and Caleb to the car and load up the boxes", Ash told her.

Her mother smiled and her gaze softened when she looked at me "you're a strong woman Bird,you grandmother is very proud of how you turned out , never forget that",she said and took the children with her.

We packed the things I was keeping and donating separately and when we were done we headed to the car.

Back at home I arranged all the pictures,I put the picture of my parents next to her ashes.

"Are we never going to see Nana again?", Merce asked, holding on to my legs.

" No ,baby",I said and carried her. She is becoming a little heavier.

"My head feels sad,can I get a new one mommy?", She asked as her eyes reddened. Her pitiful expression crushed me inside. I too needed a new heart.
But I knew my grandmother would give me a scolding for acting this way,she wanted to be celebrated,she made sure to remind me on every one of her birthdays.

I sent emails and texts to some of her friends back home. If we didn't move, maybe she wouldn't have died but it was too late for regrets.

After crying a little, Merce fell asleep and I took this chance to take a shower.I haven't had one since she died and it has been four days now.

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