Happiness doesn't last

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The Docter checked me out to see what the problem was, then they took a tear and did some tests, he came back and said that he had never seen something like that in his whole life, my emotions were too strong and they ended up boiling my tears and burning my face. The doctor said that I must not have too many strong feelings and not have a few causes if I do my tears or urine may heat up and burn my skin.

When I was at the hospital my dad acted loving, and it felt so good, I thought that he changed, but once we got home everything was back to normal, He ignored me, locked himself in his room, and the next day his on a business trip. I felt so sad and alone again, and that's when I learned that happiness doesn't last forever.

The next day I had to go back to school and I thought that if pretending to be fine hurt so bad then why don't I show people how I really felt, after all, my emotions do hurt me and if I pretend to be fine any longer I might end up burning my face. So this time when people asked me if was ok I told them the truth, for what felt like the first time, they saw more than just a shy girl, more than a weirdo, the outcast, they saw me, the vulnerable, depressed side of me, they saw behind the mask.

I was extremely happy for the first time in my whole life, I loved that feeling of being loved and cared for. I could vent to my friends and cry on their shoulders, I could put on a genuine smile. Even my bullies felt bad for me, it was so good to not feel like an outcast.

But just like all good things, my happiness came to an end, 'cause by the next day I was back to being the shy girl, The outcast, the weirdo. Even my bullies went back to bullying me. I was alone again, it wouldn't be the first so it's better not to get too emotional about it. I was not feeling alone I just felt empty and not the kind of empty that leaves you alone, I just felt normal, I don't really know how to explain it but I felt carefree. Was this how it feels to not be depressed, no, it couldn't be. Was I healed? Just then a happy thought came to mind. I was surprised that I could think such happy thoughts. It felt good.

But there was one thing I was not sure of, I was not sure if it was happiness I was feeling or if was it confusion ? And if was happiness then why does it feel different from the last time? I didn't enjoy the feeling once recuse was over because I was starting to think I had imagined everything that happened the day before. Was I going insane? No, it can't be. Or can it?


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