Black Hole

Not Worth It

Iris came around more often. That was so unpleasant. She kept asking me questions that I didn't wanna answer. She would cook, watch TV, and even sleep over. My father was around more but only for her of course. " Jinx, I know you don't like me but I want you to think I'm taking your father away from you." Did she really think I would care if she ran away with him? "Ugh, I wouldn't care if you took my father to the ends of the earth. And here's what I think about you, Iris. I think your foolish for loving someone like my father, you think he loves you but he only loves himself. Your his slave, why can't you see that, he has you cooking his meals. The next thing you know you'll be cleaning the toilets."

I guess she didn't believe me 'cause she was still with him. But sooner or later she will see what a manipulative snake he is. Knowing him, he won't be able to hold onto his "good cop act". I feel so sad for her, she is probably a lovely lady. I think. For the first time, I was happy to be at school. Because at home I had no peace and no booze. But at school, I had all of that. But still, the feeling of emptiness and hopelessness stuck with me it was as if I was a magnet for bad energy and low vibrations. I would randomly burst into tears and for some reason, I didn't have an interest in fighting and I couldn't sleep at all. I would toss and turn. so every night when I couldn't sleep I stepped out for a smoke. One night, I was out for a smoke and Iris found me. She told me that I should stop smoking and go to bed. I told her that wasn't going to happen.

Iris was so stubborn. She gave me exercises to do when I couldn't sleep. I couldn't tell if she was trying to win me over by staying up late to see if I'd slept. Whatever she was planning I couldn't let her fool me. I don't know what her deal was but she was acting like a total mom. She got rid of all my Heineken and she put sleep-easy tea in my coffee maker. Was she trying to win me over? But why? I'm really not worth it.