I was so miserable. I had no sleep, no energy, and no peace. My father's girlfriend (AKA. slave) was always showering me with questions. I couldn't sleep at all for some reason. My vibe was down and I hadn't had any time when I was at ease. I have been thinking of killing myself multiple times during the day, which I thought was normal for sixteen- year old with no friends. The feeling of emptiness had changed to irritability and the feeling of hopelessness grow like mold on cheese. I looked back on all the times that people used and started crying and slapping myself. Hurting myself got rid of the pain in my heart so I would snap a rubber band on my wrist and focuses on that pain.
My wrist looked like I have been tied up tight and my checks looked like I had been burnt. I would get angry a lot and would punch the walls and then break down into tears. I constantly felt as if a dark shadow was following me. It was hard for me to concentrate on anything. I had no interest in any activity I did before such as; writing poems and fighting. All I did was sit in my room drink smoke and listen to depressing music. As I said, MISERABLE. It felt as if my inner demon had taken over me and there was no way to fight back agast it. I would constantly think of painful things. And to be honest, my head was the most painful place to be at that moment.
I felt I was Depersonalized, I felt I was viewing myself from outside my own body like I was in a movie and my life was not real. If only It wasn't. I would be so happy 'cause I was dying inside.
YOU ARE READING
Black Hole
Teen FictionA 17-year-old girl who is constantly in pain and betrayed by her one 'friend' and her father. Jinx has nothing to live for, will she ride or die? Pain is a part of her everyday life. Does she have the strength to push through it?
