Random Stuff

Random Hazbin/Helluva Incorrect quotes (again)

Angel: Schrödinger's cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that's both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

*Angel and Husker sitting in jail together*
Husker: So who should we call?
Angel: I'd call Alastor, but I feel safer in jail

Angel: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Husker: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Cam: I got distracted about halfway through.
Alastor: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Angel: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Husker: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Angel: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING ALASTOR WITH ME
Cam, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

Angel: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Husker: Tubular AF!
Alastor: Mood to the max!
Cam, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Charlie, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she's a square.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Alastor: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Cam: ...I did. I broke it.
Alastor: No. No you didn't. Niffty?
Niffty: Don't look at me. Look at Vaggie.
Vaggie: What?! I didn't break it.
Niffty: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Vaggie: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Niffty: Suspicious.
Vaggie: No, it's not!
Charlie: If it matters, probably not, but Angel was the last one to use it.
Angel: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Charlie: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Angel: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Charlie!
Cam: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Alastor.
Alastor: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Charlie: Alastor... Husker's been awfully quiet.
Husker: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Alastor, talking to Cam: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Alastor: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Cam:
Alastor: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Cam: What are you getting Husker for the holidays?
Angel : I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.
Alastor: I'm getting Husker a divorce lawyer.

Cam: Hey Husker, wanna third wheel on my date with Alastor tomorrow?
Husker: Sure.
Cam: Angel ! Wanna third wheel on my date with Alastor tomorrow?
Angel: Sure?
Cam: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!
Husker & Angel : ..,
Alastor: Cam...

Angel : *yawns*
Husker: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.
Angel : Then you must be exhausted.
Cam: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Alastor : Did Cam just tell me they loved me for the first time?
Angel: Yeah, they did.
Alastor : And did I just do finger guns back?
Angel: Yeah, you did.

Husker: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.
Angel: You're very hot, and I still eat you.
Everyone at the table: *silence*
Cam: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!
Alastor: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

Alastor: Do you love Angel ?
Husker: Yeah, I do.
Alastor: Cam! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!
Cam: We all love Angel . You should've asked if they were IN love with them.
Husker: I thought that was implied.
Cam: ...
Alastor: ...
Husker, looking straight at Cam: Congrats Alastor, you just won 100 bucks.

Angel: Talk dirty to me~
Alastor: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Angel: Wha-
Alastor: The economy is in shambles.

Stolas's father: You took my daughter's virginity!
Blitz: Sorry, won't happen again.

Husker: So you like cats?
Angel: Yeah.
Husker: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Husker: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...
Angel: Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

Husker: Alright, listen up, you little shits.
Husker: Not you, Cam. You're an angel and we're thrilled to have you here.

Moxxie: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you're single?
Blitz: Do not do that.
Moxxie: You won't even notice!
Millie, entering: Moxxie , you wanted to see me again?
Moxxie: Blitz's single
Blitz:

Husker: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Husker and Angel, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Alastor: Our turn, Cam! One, two, three- vanilla!
Cam, deadpan (Whom was born in hell and has never had cake): I've never had cake, what is cake.   

Stolas, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. 
Blitz: Hey.
Loona: Hi.
Moxxie: Hello.
Millie: Hey!
Stolas: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Loona: We were out of Doritos.

Stolas: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Blitz: Several traffic violations.
Loona: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Moxxie: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Millie: Also, that's not our car.

Stolas: Where's Blitz, Loona, and Moxxie?
Millie: They're playing hide and seek.
Stolas: Where?
Millie: I don't think you get how this game works.

Stolas: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Blitz: Rude.
Loona: That's fair.
Moxxie: Not again.
Millie: Are you going to want this back?

Stolas: What does 'take out' mean?
Blitz: Food.
Loona: Dating
Moxxie: Murder
Millie: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Stolas: Is stabbing someone immoral? 
Blitz: Not if they consent to it.
Millie: Depends who you're stabbing.
Moxxie: YES?!?