Reverie Reviews

review #7.S3: Love And Fabrics

Title

Author: Egwuji
Reviewer: -sylver

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SYNOPSIS

Marcel, the son of a poor carpenter, chases the illusion of perfect success in order to win the heart of a viscountess who rejected him years ago for his lack of title and riches.

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Marriage promises made by children are often overlooked and forgotten, but Marcel, after starting a fast-growing fashion business, is determined to win Lady Bloom Ashwood back, albeit being rejected by her years ago.

Lady Bloom Ashwood is being forced into an arranged marriage by her parents and she values her freedom more than anything else. Marcel's return reminds her of her love for fashion and their childhood romantic feelings begins to surface. But she is engaged and any ridiculous mistake could lead to a scandal that would ruin Bloom's image and also destroy Marcel's booming business.

Marcel loves fashion, but he loves Lady Bloom more.

Is the risk worth it?

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TITLE

Love And Fabric

The title relates greatly to the story. I've picked up from the prologue that Marcel and Bloom have a thing for fashion and want to create clothing. Marcel seems to have dedicated his life to becoming a businessman in that industry. Each chapter mentions or has the aspect of love and heart ache so the story gives an historical romance aura. It's a nice title that fits the plot.

COVER

When I first looked at your cover I felt that it looked familiar, and I've definitely seen the man from the picture before. The paid story The Accidental Duchess looks almost exactly like your cover. I know some covers around Wattpad are bound to look alike but just wanted to point that out. The woman on the cover seems to be more brunette than a ginger, as your character list has shown that Bloom has bright red hair. If she had dark red hair it'd be more understandable but she doesn't so the cover doesn't match your character. Next is the font of the cover. The fonts chosen don't fit the cover at all. Maybe if they were thinner and not so thick the text would mesh with the cover. Even though the zipper is a unique touch it doesn't fit in an aesthetic way. So overall the cover has pretty aspects that just don't clash together. I think you could get a better cover that represents your story better.

BLURB

You have a clean logline. It states the protagonist and the major conflict they face nicely. The rest of the summary is crisply written and hypnotized me to want to read the story. You structured your blurb nicely. There were no grammar mistakes other than "begins" should just be "begin" in the sentence "Marcel's return reminds her of her love for fashion and their childhood romantic feelings begins to surface". Wonderful blurb.

PLOT

For the most part the plot was interesting and captivating. I was expecting it to be boring as I've read many romances that aren't very creative in what characters do when they're not with their love interest, but you've managed to balance the fact that Bloom and Marcel both have lives of their own and you've made it interesting to read about.

Some parts of the plot feel convenient. In the prologue it felt a bit random that Bloom's mother Lady Ashwood chose the day that Marcel declared that they should marry each other in the future to tell him to not come around her daughter or she'll make him regret it. The way it's executed makes it feel like just a random and exaggerated spurt of rage from Lady Bloom to Marcel. It'd be more understandable if you had written it as if she heard what Marcel said and just discovered that they were falling in love with each other behind Lady Bloom's back but that's not the case.

Next thing is the letters. At first I really believed that Bloom wrote it because her parents wanted her to until she also apparently got one from Marcel. If she hadn't noted that it wasn't his handwriting it'd be believable that Marcel wrote that in retaliation to her letter that she presumably wrote. You can smell that it's most likely her parent's doing from a mile away. Because she knows her parents and Marcel so well it makes me question how naive she is. It makes me wonder how in four years she didn't assume that someone else had written the letter. Next I pondered why she had never written a reply to his letter to question his words. The fact that she didn't is another convenient thing. Because I noticed you like realism I will note that realistically someone angered and heartbroken would have replied to those letters especially since Marcel and Bloom have shown they still care for each other after many years.

There were many other things that came across as convenient so my final word on that is to work on execution of plot so it feels like fate happened to bring Bloom and Marcel, and they're just not together for the sake of it.

CHARACTERS

While I was reading the story it felt like I was reading about two characters who have an unhealthy obsession with one another. I understand still caring about someone after many years but the fact that Marcel still loves her that deeply is slightly concerning. I know that people can have an impact significantly on your life, Bloom is technically why he became a businessman, but eventually you move on. Especially after four years of not seeing a person. I feel like if you depicted them as a faint memory to each other and their motivation for their present selves then it'd be not as concerning. When they rekindle again after many years and show that they still have the same fire and connection as many years ago it'd be a beautiful love story.

I love the character Amar. He's nicely written and a great friend to Marcel. Every other character doesn't seem like throw away characters and I like how you've written them. They all have roles suitable to the plot.

ORGANIZATION/STRUCTURE

The story is structured very nicely. The plot doesn't bounce all over the place and flows nicely from chapter to chapter. I can tell when certain events have taken place. The POV changes between Bloom and Marcel are very smooth.

GRAMMAR/DESCRIPTION

The balance between dialogue and details is wonderful. You never go overboard with descriptions of things and they're simply put but sound beautiful. The only thing that I noticed was that you use the words albeit and howbeit a lot as that seems to be the only way you know how to incorporate English of the 1800s.

WRITING STYLE/FLOW

You have a nice writing style fit for historical fiction. Your story is written on point, and has an amazing flow and pace. The transitions are clean from chapter to chapter and POV to POV.

CREATIVITY/ORIGINALITY

I don't read pure romance stories but I'd say your story is pretty creative. I've never read a romance story approached this way. I think Marcel wanting to be in the fashion industry is a unique aspect.

PERSONAL ENJOYMENT

I love historical fiction so I did enjoy checking out the story. You have nice well-written characters. Your details are crisp and clean along with the dialogue. The only thing that I'd suggest to work on is just the execution of your story so it'd come off as realistic. Other than that Love and Fabric is great, and thank you for letting me review your story.