Reverie Reviews

review #10.S3: Loving A Stranger

Loving A Stranger

Author: JordanBurton534

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SYNOPSIS

There was a knock at midnight. It could be anyone. An axe wielding maniac? A group of renegade virgin seeking cultists?These assumptions would be wrong. The intruder came not for Jordan's lack of sexual prowess nor for a simple murder. The truth was much worse. She came for his heart. Nor was she a simple woman looking for a late night rendezvous. She was quite literally the girl of his dreams. One Jordan dreamed about since the wee days of puberty. This is where the trouble began.

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Reviewer #1: Evelynfrost23

Cover

The picture of the cover is aesthetically pleasing and really nice to look at, however, there are a few issues with the Font Style. I would suggest changing the font of the name of the author ASAP as it really isn't visible. And the font of the name of the book doesn't actually suit the cover so much.

Title and Blurb

The title is a pretty over-used one in all honesty. It's honest and true to the point but used well. However, I think that the blurb is very short to properly say a lot about the story. The grammar is slightly off as well. The first statement,

'You know the phrase, "she is the girl of my dreams"

What if she was quite literally the girl of your dreams.'

the full stop after the statement divides it into two different statements, it would be better to change this into -

'We all know of the phrase, "she is the girl of my dreams"

But what if she was quite literally the girl of your dreams?'

Plot

So far in the second chapter and I have to say. I'm intrigued. It's a really interesting and seems to be headed in a good direction. Between the scene where the other 'girl of the dream' was shown and her reality and what's going on with the mc, its a really nice story and I hope this keeps up.

Character development

So far, we've seen only five characters that too one very briefly but it's been a really good development. Well thought out and well written, it's going well and I love the way you add a few elements of flaws in every single character. Not perfect characters but that makes them a lot more humane, a big applause to the author in this factor.

Grammar and punctuations

I love your usage of words. Like really, the words used as mot very common and are beautiful indeed. However at the same time, there is another issue that I've noticed. Grammar. It isn't very noticeable, infact, it is so minor I wouldn't have noticed it. Just 'there' being written as 'their' instead or apostrophes being used in places that aren't required. I would suggest reading the chapter with a fresh mind and editing it once before publishing it and the story would be perfect. <3

Writing style

In my personal opinion, I think this is hard to read. Not just for me but for other readers as well. The way the first chapter keeps skipping from the dream-reality to the present makes it hard to understand and a lot confusing in all honesty. I would suggest splitting the past into another chapter or making this different altogether as it becomes hard for the readers to understand and acts as a barrier.

Flow

The story is paced well enough. Isn't too fast, isn't too slow and I think it's absolutely perfect.

Extra!

Visual imagery

The visual imagery could have a bit of working on. Personally, I enjoyed the imagery but a bit more colour imagery, and the sounds described, it would be really helpful in attracting more readers.

Dialogues

This was very enjoyable. Short, to the point, yet hilarious, it really gives an insight into the way the characters are. Hope to see more of the colourful dialogue that matches their character more!

Overall

Overall, I enjoyed this story thoroughly. It was a really nice start with the introduction of the characters and the idea of it overall is really interesting. This could be great if proceeded with it in the right direction, and those few changes I recommending and this could even win a lot of awards! All the very best and thank you for choosing me as your reviewer! <3

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Reviewer #2: Definitelyactor

Title & Cover
The Title is good and correlates with the plot of the book. The cover but a different font could be used for the cover other than that it's amazing and good on the eyes.

Blurb
Amazing, Hooked me at the first go! Doesn't reveal too much of the plot but gives you a hint. Though there was constant repetition of certain punctuations which could be replaced with others,the constant repetition of periods (.) really makes it seem bland. It stops the harmonic flow between the paragraphs.

Hook & First Chapter
Isn't something that hooks you on immediately but it is an interesting and good first chapter. Though the first paragraph was one way to open it and give something readers can relate to but to an extent.

Grammar and Spelling
Nothing to correct here, You are very well versed with Grammar and Punctuation, Not a period out of place and Everything is to the letter. The words you use are so unique and creative because once they are used they won't reappear again for some time.

Plot
Definitely intriguing indeed, Nothing short but I am waiting to see what happens next between him and 'the girl of his dreams' but from fiction to reality.

Writing Flow
It isn't too slow but isn't too fast paced either, very easy to flow and understand without dragging it on and rushing through it.
Character Development
Since there's only 3 chapters there's not much, I can conclude or see as the characters grow. Since they are only a few characters with no visible flaws.

Overall
I really did enjoy the book because of the uniqueness and vivid description and the vivid image you could create without using too many words. Also because of the uniqueness in your words and phrases but also because of your absolute perfect Grammar and Spelling.
The Dialogue is very engaging but also gives readers a few laughs. Also the suspense left on the first goater was perfectly calculated.