Status: Open
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Looking for a place to get a personal review for your story? Well, step in.
A workshop initiative by @TheSavantGirls since 2020
cover credits: @devianmisfit
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Warning labels: The book was deleted once by someone who has beef again...
I was only sure of three things. First, Kal was an angel -- even if he was sexy as Hell. Second, he would hunt down and kill every last demon in London, myself included. And last, I had fallen completely in love with him.
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Title & Cover
Title does get right to the point but you need to capitalize the title, overall it is a pretty good title for what the book is based on. Now, on to the cover which looked very pretty and well made for your story. Also the cover showed to be designed very well.
Blurb
The blurb was short but it was to the point, it didn't fully pull me into reading it yet it did give me an interest to read it. So overall it was a solid short blurb that got the point across without needing to be super long. You maybe could add a bit more to pull readers into wanting to learn more about your book and what it is about.
First Chapter
The first chapter was bit on the short side but at the same time it kept the reader wanting to see what happened next. It was well written and you could clearly see that you put a good amount of work into the chapter and proofreading the story as well. So overall it was a very solid first chapter and that isn't something easy to pull off.
The rest of the chapters.
The plot with each chapter kept going at a good pace, nothing too fast nor too slow. Showing the past with her family and how she got the scar was a nice touch in my opinion. You got to know each of the characters slowly and easily without learning too much about each one of them, just enough to want to know more.
How you worked the angel and demon theme together with each chapter, showing off not just that but everyday kind of troubles. You did a good job showing just how much the scar had affected her in her everyday life, where others may not really care about it but she does.
Biggest thing that got me was your new take on the word angel and demons, how you showed the readers your idea of what these words mean. You also showed the readers what it means to be a family, showing how both characters viewed and thought of their family..
Grammar and Spelling
When it comes to both of these, you really did one hell of a job with them. I really couldn't find anything out of place. You just may want to try to add in some bigger words or words that mean the same but different, in order to mix things up a bit here and there. Overall you did one hell of a job with your spelling and grammar.
Plot
The plot was a new take on the whole good and evil, one both angels and demons. There were parts of the plot that really stood out, some that went a little bit under the radar but overall it was good.
The scar and how she got them really stood out to me, also how she acted around people and how others affected her. My only tip to that would be in the future, just try showing more beside telling the readers what's going on. Sometimes showing the thoughts of a character can bring more out of them to the readers.
One tip I could give you would be to know more of how each side is of the same coin, like showing more of the struggle from each side of view. The coin being the two main characters, showing more of their inner feelings, you did a good job showing it already. So, my only tip would be to try to focus more on showing the readers without giving way too much.
You can also show more of what is going on instead of telling the readers. That way you can not only tell the readers more about the focus point of your book but also show them just how the focus of the story is going.
Writing Flow
The writing flowed very well, few spots here and there that slowed down or seemed to be a little bit off from the rest. Overall the writing flow fit not only the theme of the story that you were doing but also the way the characters acted. The flow fits with each chapter that you had done, there weren't any problems connecting each chapter while reading it.
Character Development
On to the characters which is what makes or breaks any book, your characters showed much growth over the chapters. The main character is shown to deal with much in her life and keeps trying to go on, which is a very strong feat. While the other characters just blend together with her, without taking the spotlight away from her. So, when it comes to the characters and their growth I would give this a positive passing grade.
Overall
Overall from the chapters that I have seen, this book is very well written and I can see it going very far. I can see that you truly have made this into a story that many will enjoy and some may even reread it once they finish with it. It was a new take on what people may read or think of what demons or angel theme books are.
I know from what I am seeing that you did a great job with the characters and with how the story flowed without getting off track. I was thrown off in a good way because seeing the title and short blurb I was expecting a different kind of angel/monster kind of story. I was honestly happy with being thrown off because this book so far, seems like one that I would enjoy finishing and rereading in the future.
*Note: this chapter was left in the drafts section and we apologize for not uploading it until now as we accidentally missed it.
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