Reverie Reviews

review #42.S3: The Crimes of the Witches

Title: The Crimes of the Witches

Author: TalleFey
Reviewer: LadyInLostYearn

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

SYNOPSIS

Before her twelfth birthday, Davinia never thought she could kill, but for the past eight years, taking their lives is all she could think about.

The banished Atropa coven witches came back in an all-destroying reaping of revenge. They killed Davinia's mother and destroyed most of her town, coven, and home. Only the humans, the Lycanthropes that bend the knee, and witches' children young enough to be manipulated survived. But that was their mistake. Davinia has dreamed of revenge every single day as she's been playing along with the Witches game.

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

Disclaimer: 

While I was reading your book with my best effort to stay unbiased, I might not catch your intended style for your characters, storyline, or purposes. By the end of the day, you control its narrative. I was just passing through, exploring around, and giving a deduction.

Overall review:

The title and cover are eye-catching, although the cover could be better. The blurb is no-nonsense, clear, and still leaves a mystery of what Davinia will do.

The descriptions were written in a way that was purposeful and pretty without being dragged out, and the plot was engaging, making me root for her (I really liked the ancestral vision scene). There wasn't a moment of lull, yet it didn't make me feel out of breath due to the steady pace of storytelling. To make myself clear, writers write their narratives and dialogues at different paces, like the dialogues could be dynamic while the narratives remain relaxed. Vice versa. The two paces could intertwine harmoniously in both of them, but not easy to do. Some wrote both too dynamic and left me overwhelmed, some wrote both too monotonous and left me uninvested. You managed to balance both which is great. For other writers, it's not wrong to tip the balance once in a while, just don't make it out of nowhere—unless the purpose is to make the story jarring.

The characters were believable and made me invested a bit despite their physical appearance weren't described to a tee. I understand this book has a limited word count, but maybe it would be good to insert a significant physical trait or two so the readers have an aid to imagine them.

'Shit, the sigils. Davinia rushes to the wooden...' and 'Shit, she can't even talk to him now' sounded 1st-person POV due to profanity. It felt personal for a 3rd-person POV instead, unless it was intended. I also found these, '...with black coal mixed with a little of her blood' and '...places the Angelica incense with a little of her blood' had the same words in one scene. Up to you if you want to change one of them.

Confusion occurred when this paragraph came in, 'Davinia takes a few herbs and places them in her purse. "All done, but I'll get out of your hair," she says. Heda hums as she swings the knife, separating the stems from the flowers. She opens the backdoor...' Which one opened the door? Heda or Davinia? And this too, '...before her eyes, her people slaughtered, her friends, and her neighbours.' Her people were slaughtered? Or her people slaughtered someone?

Minor mistakes happened. '...as she draws her sigils of prophecy; Of strength, resistance, and concealment...' No capitalisation after the semicolon unless the second clause requires it. 'A Flamed maple tree branch grows around her...' shouldn't have capital F if it wasn't intended. '...but no one of the male witches' should have 'not'. 'Although, she should've been...' Never put a comma after although. I made the same mistake before, don't worry.

All this is from four chapters only. Honestly, reread the book, check for more similar mistakes, and you're good to go. Even the grammar mistakes weren't damning. Congrats again on the shortlist!