Reverie Reviews

review #19.S3: Cruel Empathy

Title: Cruel Empathy

Author: EmmeMoore86
Reviewer: CoffeeAndSilverInk

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SYNOPSIS

Anna Holland is a college freshman with strange empathic psychic powers that she has managed to keep hidden. She senses auras, feels what others feel as though she feels them herself, and has powerful intuitions that she is inclined to follow. Unfortunately, one of these strong urges leads her to being sucked into another universe where she is at the mercy of a dangerous warlord who calls her a mage and claims to have been waiting for her.

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Title and Cover:

The title works perfectly. It is original and catchy. Plus, it explains how Anna feels about being an empath.

I'm not the biggest fan of the cover. It's pretty and both author and title are easily spotted, but it feels bland. It doesn't scream Fantasy. I suggest taking a look at other book covers of the genre.

Blurb:

The blurb is too short. Try to aim for 150-200 words. Besides that, it is clear, gives enough information about the main character and how she ended up in her situation and has a twist at the end that interests the reader.

Writing a blurb has a few simple steps. 1. Introduce the main characters - which the author has accomplished well. 2. Introduce main conflict - we know she is stuck in another universe, but describing a little more the universe would draw the reader's curiosity. 3. Appeal to the reader - this would be where you end with a line so good the reader would have no other choice but to open your book.

Plot/Flow:

The flow of the story is excruciatingly slow. I read the first ten chapters all at once, but when I realised the story wasn't moving forward, it was harder to pick it up. After nineteen chapters they are still travelling, Rye is still an idiot, and Anna has long given up trying to flee. I get it that it's all for character development, but Anna being drugged is the most interesting thing to happen after her last attempt of getting back home.

The opening is good and hooks you instantly. Yet I found it very "telly" and not enough "showy" in terms of description and narration if you know what I mean. The cliffhanger in the end was also good and it works to keep the readers interested.

The story follows Anna in her journey of being sucked into another universe, claimed by a warlord and trying to survive it. Seems like a good premise and it is making a good story, but I'm going to ruin it all with one question. What else? It just doesn't feel enough for me. Anna was strong willed and was focused on getting back home as fast as possible, but it's been a lot of chapters of her just doing what Ryevin is telling her and getting softer towards him by the day. I was down for more Anna trying to outsmart the cavemen gang.

Don't get me wrong, I know throughout these chapters we have learned a little bit more about the characters and the worlds, which is very important. Besides that, we've also been able to theorise what could possibly be the reason why Anna is there and why Ryevin knew all that. It took an awful long time for him to finally come clean about what he knows, but it makes sense knowing they need time to trust each other.

All my whining aside, the beginning is good and really hooks the reader into the story and chapters 18 and 19 were really interesting to me. It's just the in-between that could be more eventful. Or shortened.