The Bias

Chapter 32

Shaadi kar le. Agr tujhe Shehnaaz chaiye toh wahi sahi, par promise me, you will ask her.",

Siddharth lòoked at his mother.How could he talk to Shehnaaz. How would he ask her for a marriage. Things had taken a different turn now and he didn't know ,if there was any going back.

"Agr aisa na ho toh? ", he asked lookimv at his mother. Her aged and tender fingers massaging his scalp.

"Toh she does not love you. And shaadi us se karte hai, jo aapse pyaar kare ya fir socially aapke liye sahi ho. She's already not socially appropriate for you. Par agar she doesn't even love you then you must marry socially appropriate. We will find a nice woman, and you will marry her. And both of you will raise a family. A i will get to see my grandchildren. ", she said patting his cheek.

Hearing this Sidharth lifted his head off her lap." Kyu zidd karte ho?"

"Zidd nahi hai, i am worried for you.Zidd tu kar raha hai, i agreed to Shehnaaz, now you.must agree to a wedding.", she spoke raising his hand to her head asking him to swear by her.

"That's ridiculous mom! How can I do that?" , he spoke pulling her hand from his head."Its not the same thing!"

"Ofcourse its the same thing Sid. I can see what you don't want to see. Woh hi sahi, par teri terms pe, kyuki otherwise tu intezaar kare ga. Aur ek tarfa intezaar insaan ko Khatam kar deta hai. Pyaar hoga usko toh woh maan jae gi, nahi hoga toh toh you must move on. Par i won't let you wait."

"Mom", Sidharth spoke straightening himself. His hands went on to hold.her shoulder, slightly gripping over those.
"I am not in love with Shehnaaz and neither is she.Toh shaadi ka Sawal hi nahi. She is not asking me to wait.And the reason I don't want to get married is not her, its me. Please don't drag her into this."

Rita kept looking as he spoke those words.His eyes clearly defying whatever he was speaking. She was a mother and right now she could doom written in those.

"Kyu kar raha hai? Sidharth you have already stated to hurt yourself over her. I am able to see it right through you. !", she remarked placing her hand over his face. Sidharth could say a million things but what he felt for Shehnaaz was beginning to scare Rita. Sidharth looked at her, and turned his eyes away. He knew what ever it was. Maybe not love, but he wasn't ever going to tie Shehnaaz down with himself.That wasn't what was right.When he did not answer for a few moments Rita stood up.

"Mai tujhe yeh pagal pan karne nahi dungi. Apna dimaag sahi kar, aur get married. I will not have my son become a mad man. " More than Shehnaaz what scared Rita was what she saw in his eyes. The determination to let himself burn to see her world light up scared Rita . It would scare any mother. Sidharth was tied to the girl that he was hell bent on setting free.

"Love is for lucky people par jinko Naseeb nahi hota, woh bechare nahi hote. Marriages are more real and more true than love. They keep you afloat in the world, but pyaar woh nahi karta Sid, it will drown you."

Shehnaaz had not answered any of the calls Sidharth had made.Whatever time he got after she had left, he had tried calling her. She was a stubborn woman and right now she was hurt and angry.
I was molested by uncle while I was a kid , everyday for...Her words had kept ringing in his head all.along. Ofcourse seeing her, he knew she had a history of something. But this, this was unprecedented. The moment he heard those words he felt the grounds slip underneath his feet. Uncle he could not grasp a thing. What would it have felt to be there, at her home, the safest possible space, vulnerable and unprotected. He didn't know how to process that, let alone react to that. He was a grown up man, and he knew a lot more, but this was crazy. His brain had been fucked up, what was a possible right reaction to her confession.