The Bias

Chapter 48

Ghar sach me makaan me hi hota hai. Jo log doosro me ghar bnate hai unko kabhi ghar naseeb nahi hote! Shehnaaz had once told Siddharth. That was her story, a story where she had never found home in other people and therefore had never made a home in other people. She sat in the car as her dad drove the car to airport. The road was so frequent to her that she knew almost every shop that came in the way.Mumbai had a liitle home to her, her cave; but Mumbai wasn't her destination; it was a distraction and a stop before she finally moved out.
She was looking out of the window, as the events of the past life flashed past her eyes.

"You are not alone ,Sana.  We are always here. In whatever capacity we must be. There too you won't be alone, you have a family with you. Just one call from you and we would do everything.  Remember that!" Parmider spoke placing her hand over Shehnaaz's  and pressing it tight.

"Ahh le, check your passport!"( take this)  her dad passed her the phone, while she got off the car

Shehnaaz took the phone and nodded.  It way their good byes were being said, it was so sad and so lost.  No words, eyes not meeting,  no hugs, no smiles and no tears. Maybe if anyone of them would have looked into each others eyes, they would have cried. Just the way you don't want to tear up while you leave your homes, for another place- a pain that only immigrants know. Shehnaaz turned around, and movee past them, walking ahead to the security, while her parents stood at the entry gate, looking at her. She had her heart racing fast. What happens in families that are dysfunctional? How do you love them? Because you do. Despite all that had happened in her life, Shehnaaz loved her parents the most. No-one was dearer to her than them. She was angry and hurt and in pain, but she could not as much bear a scratch on their finger. With every step that she took, she had a sinking feeling develop within her. Her heart was about to explode, for this was it for everything.  She was never turning back for anything. Mumbai was going to be yet another chapter in her story.

"Id and ticket ma'dam", spoke the security officer at the gate, snapping her out of the thoughts.  She looked at him, and nodded . Tears filled in her eyes, she turned back to see her parents.

The man was an èlderly. Something similar to her dad's age.
"Jao Ek baar gale mil lo. Phir kya pta milne ko ho na ho!", he said looking at the girl and her parents standing behind the rails.

She turned around to see them. In a blink of an eye, she ran back to them. Stopping in front of her dad, she looked up to him, her fingers wiped off the tears from his eyes.

"Papa royo tad jad mera viyah hou ga.  Mere doli te ro laiyo. Aje thode na.Jad mai tuhde mehlaa cho turo gi.( papa cry when I get married.when I walk out of your palace )" she spoke as he pulled her closer kisisng at her hair

"Abba!" She spoke as she placed her head to his chest. He was dressed up in a deep navy blue suit with a similar turban and a crimson  tie.

The man let go of a breath. "Saanu? Ki gal? ( sana , what wrong?) He asked patting her head with his hand.

When she was a liitle calm, she came out of his embrace. She looked down grabbing his hand and that of her mother too and then she looked up to face them.

"I am sorry dad. I am sorry for whatever happened. " she spoke as they looked at each other. Her voice lowered  in decibels " I wish I could let you know,  how much I regret things. I wish I could change how it happened. I wish Nirmal was here. I was Robbie was here. But they aren't  and I am so sorry.  For all my life, all I have ever wanted to do is return back to that day and change how  it happened. Everyday, I have lived the same day in my life and wish it wasn't true. I am so sorry for the pain that happened. And I so much as regret causing it to.you!" She spoke smiling.  Tears slowly falling out of her eyes. It was important to let go of everything
Smiled and then,held her dad's face in her hands,  kissing him at the top of his forehead, right in the middle of the blue turban he was wearing.