The Bias

Chapter 34

Therapy was expensive, but was it effective, Shehnaaz wasn't sure of the correct answer.

"Tell me about Nirmal, your sister? How do you view yourself to her?" , the woman asked.

"Do you think.i was vicious to her? I mean was I?"  Shehnaaz asked revising the lanes she had lived.

"But its very usual, as a species of the kingdom animalia, we tend to do these things. We often think that we are advanced but we aren't, we are all.prey to such instincts. Siblings often compete with each other, at least for the initial.years until the love grows, no two people are born loving each other, even parents take time to get attached to  child, why do you think miscarriages or an abortions hurt less compared to the death of a child? You were not wrong in feeling jealous because of Nirmal.". She spoke looking outside window, the lush greenery that surrounded the block of her house she had turned into an office building. This was Shehnaaz's fourth visit to the therapist.Slowly the therapist had started in diving into the ocean that was Shehnaaz's brain.She had started with minimal exploring, and had picked up a thread. She hoped it was a lighter one and easy to tread along. Shehnaaz was seeking therapy about the abuse that she had encountered as a child. Not this. But this, the topic regarding her sister was simpler to begin with,  well at least the therapist thought that!

When Shehnaaz didn't asnwer for sometime, and kept looking back at the therapist, her gaze following the sozni work at her shawl, recalculating the steps. The therapist spoke again, " Do you hold yourself responsible for her death in some way? Aren't you punishing yourself for something you didn't do?"

The therapist was smart and she was renowned. She had picked up the most accurate thing,and had taken a nose dive into it. But the problem with Shehnaaz was that it was the Marina trench of her life. Her simple question was the one to trigger Shehnaaz. And thats is when Shehnaaz spoke.

"Oh! I am sorry.", she spoke hurriedly getting up from the sofa chair.Recklessly she picked up her phone, dialing her driver. "This has been a mistake! All of it!", she spoke moving out of the room."

Sidharth had initially tried to establish a contact with Shehnaaz. But she hadn't really reciprocated. He could understand that she was angry. And hurt. But what he didn't understand was her complete denial of his existence. It was a day after her surgery that he had seen her, but she had simply walked out on him, as if she didn't know him.She had her reasons of being angry, but what he didn't understand was her not letting him explain his position and completely shutting him down.

The last week had been a busy one for him, and he had been occupied, working abroad.The time zones between Mumbai and England didn't leave him a large scope for Shehnaaz.

"Keys?", he spoke holding his hand out for the Romi to pass the keys.He was finally back to Mumbai after a long tiring flight.

"Sid tum that gye hoge. Let me drive.", Romi spoke looking out of the window.

Sidharth lover driving but he agreed for now.

"Mom has been waiting , you know how she is. Ek baar maafi maang le.",Romi suggested looking at the signal that had turned red.

"Maang lunga.Par tujhe pata hai, mom kya kar k aai?" He asked back. The last time any of them had spoken properly was a over a week back and that had made Sidharth a bit more than just irritable.