TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

37

Chapter 37

JEON JUNGKOOK

I was tired.

The world used to wait for me, but it had been in a mood these days. The fear I always felt almost seemed formulaic; different yet all the same, and perhaps I needed to do something about it—break the chain. Edge my way out of it.

I couldn't think much over the people talking loudly in the coffee shop. I also thought the external noise was much better for me, much easier to handle. College students flocked the tables near lunchtime, and that same hour, I would have been bustling on my feet with restless hands and an amped brain but the truth highlighted itself through the unread messages in my phone, a disturbing reminder of being unofficially jobless. It would be tagged officially dismissed, though. What did I hold against the people who could fire me anytime though I had been valuable once? They clearly had the upper hand in the situation. Now I was left with a termination letter signed by the top executives distastefully glaring back at me as if I had wronged it.

I hadn't even received a probation. Even a correction plan, or a verbal coaching that would tell, chief resident Jeon Jungkook, you fucked up. A kinder warning that I was doing things wrong, things that needed fixing. Is there a way for it to be remediated? The process didn't make sense to me, making me feel that I was no longer in control; someone else had taken the reign. I was just watching it twist itself and uncoil at the same time, a contentious mess, and I was also getting tired of keeping my eyes on the fickle lines that maybe I should just turn away.

I knew something had veered off track when Doctor Won handed me an envelope this morning while he couldn't directly meet my eyes, because he always leveled my gaze, a harshly muted tip-off that I was inferior to him, and technically he was. It had sent a message which screamed red into my face, even if I hadn't exactly assumed that it was a doom of my job. Who would've thought? My attending and I didn't have the most ideal professional relationship, but the fact that he'd kept me under his wing for almost four years now, only for him to come up with a compiled written report on my past minimal medical errors and incidents of unethical behavior a couple of months before of what was supposed to be my graduation from residency was speculatively offbeat. I had never bragged about this, but I was usually the one who answered his calls whenever he needed someone else to replace him for a difficult task, I did everything he asked me to, made some of his work easier, sacrificed sleep and breaks to keep myself up with his requests, even if he had been so rude every time. Nobody except me knew that there had been a few times of misdiagnosis on his end as I listened in the same consultation room, and he also slacked off on giving medical advice or treatment which could've made a person's situation worse had I not intervened and repeated consultations with the patients the moment he was out the door.

He helped someone throw me under the bus, and I wasn't sure why I was still surprised. And it was just fantastic that Im Junseo had also fabricated complaints to fan the flames, claiming that I was an uncooperative and entitled junior colleague under plenty of circumstances. Okay, maybe I could be a handful, but I always kept myself in check at work. I was tempted to ask Dr. Im how it had usually felt to have someone more academically recognized than him in his team, because that shit secretly pissed him off; I was sure of that. My presence secretly ticked him off and made him feel threatened when I was only doing my job. And just like his cousin, he couldn't wait to see me struggle with everything I had earned. It all pieced together. I had one person in mind that could start this mess.

But what else could I do? The top management was on their side. Hell, they were family. A single phone call with their Dads and I was out. Disposable. Those assholes never heard of due process. But if I pulled a lawsuit on them, would it even be worth it? It would draw attention. Would a rattle a noise. Could drag on longer than what I'd imagined which meant I was also setting myself up for a huge prolonged suffering. We were talking about the freaking Severance. My name against the hospital would be published in different online medical journal publications, and any bigger reaction than silence from me would dig up my own grave, because Severance Hospital had much money and power to turn the tables, at my expense. At the end of the day, they still had a reputable name while I was seen just as a surgeon in training who needed plenty of things to learn and more to prove. I didn't have the same leverage as they had.