TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

51

Chapter 51

PARK SOOHYUN

Back in college, I was delusional enough to hope that I would receive flowers on Valentine's day from Jungkook—out of all people—and even imagined that I would find it in my locker with a little note.

Jungkook stared at me, a little reluctant with his words when he said, "I didn't know if you love flowers..."

"What's the occasion?" I asked in spite of myself, a little flustered as I was trying to hide the blush I could feel sitting on my cheeks.

Even then, it simultaneously felt off, a twinge of skepticism warm in my stomach. I didn't miss the wince cross his face, as if he didn't expect me to question such a rare gesture. I'd asked it out of genuine curiosity because it was unlike him to surprise me with material gifts out of the blue, but maybe I should've worded it better. Had this happened another day, he would've seen the biggest smile on me. I couldn't help but feel like this was an apology for something we both knew but didn't want to sit down for and bring up in a conversation. But I hadn't exactly been virtually responsive during the day, and he must've felt like I was upset with him and he needed to do something about it.

Somehow I still expected him to quit being evasive about the obvious thing he'd said last night. As he was glancing down at the bouquet of flowers in my hands, his eyes and smile were warm when he said, "Nothing, just wanna give you that." Jungkook leaned in to press a kiss just below my ear, a hand on the side of my neck as he did so.

When he pulled away, I glanced at his face to search for some sign of uncertainty, some sign that he might be lying. I kept looking at him, trying to will him to look back until he turned around and went into the bedroom to change out of his work clothes. As soon as he was done, he started whipping up dinner in the kitchen. I hovered near his side to help and do as I was asked while Jungkook never mentioned a thing about what weighed on my mind the entire time. Right until we got into bed that night, he seemed determined to just brush his drunken stupor under the rug so we never got to talk about it.

I forgot it soon anyway. My annoyance faded fast and if I was honest, I was sort of relieved that we moved past an awkward conversation. It made me wonder if I had only made a big deal of a non-issue, and maybe I just got carried away. Should I not have gotten upset about what he'd told me? Did I read too much into it? Suddenly there was a feeling that maybe I just let it get to my head. It probably didn't mean anything.

For the next few weeks, work got a little more hectic on his end, and there were times either of us couldn't come home though it happened to me more. I'd almost never see him on some days. But we texted and called every day. We got home at the oddest hours of the night and we let each other catch up on sleep after talking. Both of us were obviously doing our best to find some normalcy in our lives, a balance between the chaotic and unpredictable schedules of our job. Jungkook never complained about it because he was just as busy as I was, even if it was sometimes annoying to get work calls and texts in the middle of the night.

A part of me was wishing I could go with him into a life of quiet and lazy mornings, another part telling myself had we not gotten into Medicine, we probably never would have met. So we took the time we could have together. We made an effort to go out on dates. We had to find time to stay on top of our work and relationship.

In the early morning of Jungkook's 32nd birthday, we went out for a leisure stroll. The air was cool and a little wet, and off in the distance, we could hear the constant hum of the traffic noise. It was a little quiet in the park at that time, with a few elders and mothers and kids in tow loitering around.