TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

43

Chapter 43

PARK SOOHYUN'S POV

I swiped my ID at the access point and breezed past the double doors on my way to the nurses' station in the center of the ICU, accomplishing an instruction from an attending on my last day as a surgical resident. I always felt time was dragging out during residency until I was finally confronted with its end. I figured I wasn't so prepared about it the way I had initially thought.

I walked up to the counter and leaned forward, one of the nursing staff behind it raising his head up at me, and passed on another work to them as requested by the senior doctor.

A couple of hours later, after getting some shut-eye in the on-call room, I rushed into the locker room to get changed out of my scrubs and into my ceremony outfit, passing by familiar doctors and nurses who congratulated me on my way out of the hospital.

It didn't take long before I was at a circular table inside the banquet hall of the upscale hotel on the street next to Severance. Seated on my right were my parents, and on my left was Jimin who thankfully could make it tonight for my residency graduation. Everything had been prepared almost meticulously like it had only been waiting for us, even if we also paid for it. The waiters rotated around the tables, pouring champagne that could carry us through dinner. We were about twenty graduating residents in attendance, coming from different programs. I might have a stiff neck avoiding Nam Jiwon's direction; she was with her executive doctor parents which was sort of repulsive to me. How easy must it be to sit there and celebrate your accomplishment knowing you put someone else's on hold. Jungkook could've been here with me. He should be here with us; surely that occured to them, including the rest of the graduates, being the star resident that Jungkook was. There should've been another table in this room to be filled by Jungkook and his family.

I wanted to invite him to the ceremony but that would have been an asshole behavior on my part, and I wasn't about to act insensitive by asking him to be here for me, because this night was supposed to be his big night, too. When he had told me he had an evening class today, I didn't say anything and never dared to confirm if he was telling the truth. Even if he wasn't, he had every right to keep it, to guard himself from whatever kind of hurt that this situation caused. But I wasn't going to say that I wasn't heartbroken about his absence—it was a looming presence that was unlikely to be ignored.

Everyone was called one by one to come up on the stage and be recognized—I grinned so hard when it was Taehyung's turn but seethed at Doctor Won's face in sight—until it was my name that was being called over through the mic. Mom promptly told me to hold my head high and to be mindful of my posture before I got up. Growing up, she nitpicked things like this, which served us a fair share of better outcomes in our adulthood.

My knees were quaking but were delicately hidden by my evening dress. I hoped my smile didn't look strained as it felt when I posed for pictures between my attending and the chair of CT surgery department, holding a plaque in my hands. I walked down with aplomb I could muster, making sure I appeared more than okay in front of my colleagues and seniors even with all the tightness I was feeling around my facial muscles. My mom pretended to be upset as soon as I occupied the seat next to her, reminding me that I had never once mentioned that I co-authored two research articles over the past three years of my residency. Dad and Jimin were quick to pull out their phones and demand that I tell them where they could access them but I quietly asked them to not make it a big deal.

"It's a big deal, what are you saying," Jimin pressed on.

I hushed him down, "We can talk about it later."