Nineteen

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In fact, that's what we did.

When Eliza came back home we all talked. Just three of us with our mom.

We talked and talked and talked...

She can't change that fact she works six days a week, but she can change her behaviour. She said she would try and wouldn't stop until she did.

We said we would too, we would fix how we act even though we don't act like complete assholes all the time.

What Dream said got to me. Made me think of the situation from her perspective. It helped me understand more.

I still feel like she doesn't care, but at the same time, I don't.

I think David just doesn't know what to do in this situation. He is stuck in between and doesn't know what to say or how to say it.

I get that she's moving on but I will still forever be mad about her remarrying.

She just threw out dad away like he didn't exist. Like the only thing left of him was us and nothing more.

It hurts to see your mom move on without considering how you feel. Instead, she jumps into marriage and has a child.

I get it. But it also confuses me in some way that I'm not even sure myself.

The only thing I need to focus on is the history book in front of me.

Also, the fact that in about an hour, I have to head down to the field, where my soccer coach will be waiting to kick me off the team.

I missed the most important game of the reason three days ago, and I feel awful about it.

There's no stopping him from kicking me off. He hates me but he knows I'm the best on the team besides Karl, and he can't kick me off without reason.

I know my mom will be upset, but she won't be as upset as she would've been only just a week ago.

Lila and Jacob moved in on Sunday. The plan stayed the same as what was said at dinner.

David now has full custody of them, meaning after the wedding they're having some time this month.. we're step-siblings.

That word makes me want to puke.

Eliza had a full breakdown yesterday because Lila took down her Mac DeMarco poster and replaced it with a Millie Cyrus poster.

Lila has the side of the room without a window, and Eliza has the side of the room with a window.

They share a closet along with a bathroom, but they have sides.

Lila painted her side of everything a baby pink, whilst Eliza's is more neutral and black.

They're complete opposites. So are max and Jacob.

Max moved all his taken-down posters, dinosaur fossils, his big map, and a bunch of other things into a small corner of my room.

He told me it won't take up much space, and it didn't surprisingly. I had to let him put his stuff in my room since they would've thrown it out if he hadn't or put it in the attic.

Jacob put up baseball posters, baseballs from games that he's caught, sports equipment, rap artists, and loads of other things that make max cringe.

Jacob takes up more than half of his closet, meaning max had to take some of his vests and put them in my closet.

I don't mind him storing a couple of things in there. I was laughing the whole night listening to the four of them argue about their now shared rooms.

I enjoy having a room to myself now. Never really realized how grateful I should be for my room. Now I basically beg to keep my room.

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