The Path To You

21. Make it up to you

Connor's POV:

"I can't do this." I turned away from the door and walked right back down the hall.

"Really?" Nico just stared at me as I walked back towards him.

"Would it be bad if I just left?" I questioned.

I knew the answer but it seemed like a good idea. It'd been too long since I'd seen Jetson and now I felt like I'd throw up if I had to knock on that door. Nico had come only to make sure I went through with it. He'd called me a pussy bitch one too many times and now he's basically dragging me to the door himself.

"I'd punch you if you tried. Is that what you want? You want to get punched?" Nico was having none of my shit.

We'd gone over everything we could to get myself here. I'd made the decisions and went through every step I needed to. Now I was finally ready to try to fix it and I couldn't.

Walking in there and failing would hurt him but if I just left I knew it would hurt him even more. It was a lose lose and I had no clue how to fix any of it.

"I'm not a huge fan of being punched so I'd prefer if you didn't."

"So go talk to him, you can't put this off any longer." Nico told me and I knew he was right.

I'd reached my deadline and it was now or never. I really hoped it went well.

"Fine I'm going." I turned back towards the door trying to get myself ready.

"Connor." Nico called out.

"Yeah?" I was half expecting a nice pep talk but I knew better than to even think I'd get that from Nico.

Maybe if Sasha was here.

"Hurt him any more and you'll wish I just punched you."

Yeah that sounded about right. I was used to Nico's nature so it didn't even surprise me.

I raised my hand and finally knocked. My stomach turned into knots as I waited. I could see Nico still standing at the end of the wall waiting to make sure I didn't make a run for it before he left.

When the door opened I swear all the oxygen left my body. Jetson stood there just as breathtaking as he always was. I hadn't expected him to change but the image of him in my head never did him justice. Nothing could match how pretty he was in person.

If I wasn't already an addict I swear I would get addicted to him so fast. He'd be my favorite drug of choice and nothing could ever come close.

But I was an addict, I'd chosen the bottle over everything and everyone. I'd fallen in too deep by the time Jetson walked in and tried to pull me out. But it was never too late to try and I needed to if I could give Jetson a chance.

"Connor I didn't expect-,"

"I know, you left and you need space. I get that and I am trying to give that to you. I want you to do whatever you think is best, you know all I want is the best for you. I thought about not coming here at all but I just couldn't." I cut him off.

"Did you want to come in?" Jetson stepped to the side letting me get out of the hallway.

"Yeah probably for the best." I nodded stepping into his apartment.

"So-," he trailed off just looking at me with curious eyes.

"I did come here for a reason. I have a lot to make up for and I know I hurt you. I've said and did things I can't take back. I was lucky you stuck around for as long as you did. I think part of me was just pushing and pushing waiting to see how much you'd take. I wanted you to break and just leave so I kept trying to hurt you." I did my best to explain it all.