The Path To You

22. The letters

Connor-

Hey, it's only been a few days since you left but it's been a lot harder than I thought. Not being able to talk to you at all and having no idea how you are doing has been killing me. I miss you so much. I've made the decision to write you letters so that I can tell you everything that you missed when you were gone.

I'm going to start with all the good things. Sasha has been hanging out here more, apparently things are less busy with all her classes. I think she's here because Nico misses having you around, not that he'd ever say those words ever. She did mention that being at the Kingsley house wasn't the same without you constantly trying to flirt with her. I thought you'd like to know Sasha was thinking about you. I'll try to rein in my jealousy when you get back.

It's Evan's birthday tomorrow. Jake has been going crazy trying to plan something perfect. He's been driving everyone crazy. It is really sweet though that Jake wants to plan out the perfect day for Evan. I honestly think all he needs to do is sit him on a couch with Star Wars playing and Evan would be thrilled. But Evan hasn't had much for birthdays in the past and Jake is determined to make up for it all. Somehow I think that you'd enjoy watching Jake run around like a chicken with its head cut off. The poor guy is stressed out of his mind.

I can't wait to see you again. Don't rush but just know I'll be here waiting.

Love,
Jet Plane

—

Connor-

Evan's birthday turned into like a birth week. The guy is dancing around everywhere with how happy he is. I'll make sure that it doesn't go into your birthday. I'm going to celebrate it with all our friends and make the day about you as much as I can even without you here.

It's been hard lately. I've been trying to hang out with friends as much as I can to distract me but somehow I always find the empty spot in the room that you were supposed to fill. Sometimes it just reminds me that you are doing this and getting sober and it makes me happy for you. But other times it's crushing because I miss your voice and the way you always make me laugh.

I didn't want you to know how sad I am about you being gone because rehab is so good for you. It's something so important and I don't want to take away from that by going on and on about how sad I am you aren't here. I'd rather spend this month apart so you can get sober than have to keep watching you how you were. But still I feel your absence everywhere I go.

Becca has been 'accidentally' buying extras of my favorite snacks and giving them to me. I know she's just trying to cheer me up and honestly I don't think I'd make it through these weeks without the support from my friends.

Hope you're doing well.

Love,
Jet Plane

—

Connor-

Dom caught me sleeping in your room last night. I was having a rough night and so I just went over to your house. I don't know how Dom knew but he'd opened the door and found me an hour later. I feel a little bit pathetic but he just sat and we talked for awhile.

We mostly talked about you. It was nothing bad of course. You'll be happy to know I talked Dom's ear off with how amazing I think you are. I hope that doesn't boast your ego too much. Dom suggested I steal some of your clothes, you know it would only be fair. (If you are looking for that blue hoodie you always wear, I definitely didn't steal it.)

I've been trying to think about what to do for your birthday. Usually I'd just throw a party but would drinking and partying really be what we should be doing for you? It feels weird to do that when you are getting sober. I've been trying to think of what kind of cake to get but I don't think I even know if you like cake or if you do what kind is your favorite.

Somehow being away from you has made to realize how much I still don't know. I just hope that when you get back I can fill in all the blanks. I want to know everything and I want you to know everything too. We have so much left to learn about each other and I can't wait for it.

I propose a game of twenty questions, I'll spoil that my first question will be what your favorite kind of cake is.  And then maybe I'll ask what kind of mattress you have because how is your bed so much more comfortable than mine?

Love,
Jet Plane

—

Connor-

I should have told you I loved you before you left. I was scared to say the words only for you to hurt me again. I was trying to hold on to one last thing but now it's all I can think about. I wish you knew exactly how I feel. I want you to know how much I care about you.

You should have left here knowing you had someone waiting for you, someone who loved you no matter what.

I love you Connor. I love you. I love you. I love you.

You told me not to wait for you but I hope you know that I will. That I will wait no matter how long it takes because I love you and I believe in you, in us.

You're my best friend, my favorite person in the whole world, and the person I think I could love forever. You have me until the end and I really hope you know that.

Until I see your beautiful face again, I love you.

Yours,
Jet Plane

A/n:

Sorry this isn't like a real chapter but I figured I'd give you guys something today even if it's just this.

Thank you for all the support in the last chapter. I am working to put myself first and focus on my health so there might be updates that I miss due to that coming up. I appreciate you all for understanding and allowing me to take the time if I need it.

Love you all and hope you enjoyed this chapter.
-Cora Leigh