The Path To You

24. Made a mess

One month. It's seemed like such a long time but now that it was finally up it felt like time had flew by. So much has happened, birthdays and spring break but now Connor was scheduled to return and nothing else mattered.

I didn't know for sure if he was coming back today. I hadn't heard from him since he left. That was normal since he didn't have his phone with him while he was going through rehab. But because I hadn't talked to him I didn't know if he was coming home today or if his stay got pushed. If he was coming back then I still didn't know what time.

I had asked Nico about it yesterday but he just shrugged and said and I quote, "how the fuck should I know?"

Even if it wasn't today I knew it would be soon. I was feeling antsy as I waited. I just wanted to see Connor, I had missed him too much.

I was trying to distract myself. I had spent most of my day alternating between watching some Tv and binge reading my notes for my Asian history class. There was a lot of dates and things to memorize and every time I flipped open the chapter I felt like my head was going to explode.

I only paused my cycle when I felt my stomach grumble realizing I forgotten to add in time to eat. I had just closed my textbook when I heard my door open.

"Hey Jet plane." I whipped my head around to see Connor standing in my doorway smiling at me.

It was jarring to see him. He looked the same but also different. The usual bags under his eyes were gone, his appearance was more put together and his dark brown eyes were sparkling clear. I'd never seen Connor sober and now looking at him I was blown away by the fact he somehow looked even better.

"You're back!" I jumped up from where I was sitting and closed the distance between us as fast as I could.

The second I was within reach Connor wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. Being in his arms felt like home. I'd almost forgotten how amazing it felt.

"I couldn't stay away from you for too long, I missed my jet plane." Even the sound of his voice was better, the way it was missing it's usual slur from the alcohol.

I felt a buzz of excitement race through me. Connor being sober meant so much. It meant he was taking better care of himself and not bringing death closer and closer. It meant that there was a chance at building something for us one day.

But now standing in his arms it felt like I was meeting him for the first time. I'd known drunk Connor but it was time to get to know the real and sober version.

"I missed you too." I smiled looking up wanting to look in those eyes again.

It was one perfect second of us taking each other in with a smile on our faces before Connor leaned forward and made the moment better. The moment Connor pressed his lips against mine I was ruined. I didn't think I'd ever be able to not love this boy, to not love the way his lips moved against my own in a slow exploration.

I knew there was so much we had to talk about and things I needed to say but instead I clung to him. I let him take me apart one kiss at a time.

The kiss was slow and soft, Connor wasn't pushing it further. At least he wasn't at the start. It stayed soft for a little bit but then Connor seemed to turn desperate as he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I let him take as much as he wanted.

Because I wanted.

I wanted more and more and more.

I wanted everything with him.

I slid my hands into his hair grasping the dark strands lightly trying to get him closer. Nothing seemed like it was enough for me. Even as he held me close and devoured my mouth he felt too far away.